All Grown Up...

So I've been a bit MIA. Part of that is because I've spent most weekends lately with the Midwesterner. He comes to visit all the time, and we've been out in the Hamptons a bunch. Yes, sounds swanky. Yes, the house is gorgeous. We really just sit around the pool drinking beers with a bunch of couples though. One of them even has KIDS! So, as you can see, I don't have tons of great material.

Except that last weekend I started getting nonstop texts and phone calls from none other than my long time Latin flame from back at the beginning of the blog. It's like the neverending story with the two of us. Except the mini endings don't have any relation to fairy tales. So, after lots of hemming and hawing, I decided to go out with him tonight.

Until I didn't. Today at work I was on the fence all day about it. Pete (midwesterner) is around all the time. And he's a great catch: handsome, athletic, bright, interested in the same things that I am, and he really likes me. And it seems that he wants to be in a relationship. I decided that if I'm the almost 30 yr old who claims they are looking for love and commitment, what the HELL am I doing screwing up a possibly great thing?? I started thinking about my past. I, my friends, am the ex boyfriend Queen of the Universe. Trust me, the crown is ugly, jagged, and tarnished. I've messed up almost every relationship I've ever been in either with cheating, jealousy, storytelling, or mis-prioritizing. It is a sad history and I'm okay to joke about it, but not proud about the real backstories involved.

So, when my former rico suave called to decide on a dinner spot, I cancelled. (yes, I am aware that this is also rude - but less rude than letting him buy me dinner while I'm clearly dating someone else). Anyway, he was polite about it, but basically shrugged me off and said that over the past few weeks it's been obvious that I'm too busy to squeeze him into my schedule, so he'll see me whenever. Not exactly the closure I was looking for, but...

Now I'm happy that I've made this decision to focus on Pete. Things may get a little bit hairy now that the summer's over and real life in NY is about to begin. However, I can promise, I'm going to give an adult relationship a real shot. To be continued.

Lauren

Vacations, sweet vacations...

Finally it's time to head to the airport and fly back home for 10 days of pure and simple "nothing". No time, no stress, no nothing. Only the good somethings like friends, shopping, family, resting, nice restaurants... Love that sensation of running to the freedom world, when actually I'm just going to the airport still.

On the way, as usual, I am daydreaming of the potential nice and cute guys traveling to Latin America, or even somewhere else. Airports are just very charming and full of interesting stories, people, faces, situations. But, of course, there is the terrible detectors and passport controls. This time, I feel lucky. Gorgeous man, very tall, "mannish" face, nice hair with a little grey initiating... but I am really feeling too good and a bit cocky, I must admit.

However, it's not like he turned left and went to Asia. No, no, of course, he made the exact same path I did, looking from time to time and, most importantly, no smiles. Only looks. And we wait, the plane is crowded, and not only the Handsome is going to the same direction, but the same flight. Oh, well, too nice for a vacation start. So nice I did not even bother that my little sit was next to an obese gentleman, occupying his sit and 1/3 of mine.

That thought only lasted 3 seconds... and the Fatty starts to talk. You know when we think how can people just be happy and talkative? How does that happen, my Lord!? From where do I live, if I like it here, or there, where had I lived and my answers were just "yes", "no", "here", "there" or just a yellow smile. I am tired, I want to go on vacations, I do not need Fatty bugging my trip home, talking and wanting to be friends??? Remember, my ego was up in the clouds, Handsome looking before, feeling great going away! There was something like "we can exchange emails and meet while you are in town now on the vacations!" Answer: yellow smile and already with my headphones on pretending to be listening to music.

Finally, I can watch a movie and simply ignore the annoying presence. I cannot sleep soon, so 2 movies in a row, I laugh, I cry and suddenly the Fatty tried to hold my hand. My God, on what grounds? I want to scream, ask for help! The person, occupying my seat, wanting my email, and suddenly trying to hold my hand? My God! Wake up! Look at the mirror and get a life! "Excuse me" removing my hand abruptly and ignoring any conversation sound.

I pull again the most possible distance, was almost kissing the window, and desiring that this flight finishes as soon as possible. No, I am not causing a scandal, asking to move places, making people uncomfortable on a flight! My God, what an inconvenient person! Not only he is using my sit, he is inconvenient!!! Sleep arrives... sweet, nice, comforting and quiet.

And... we are almost there! Breakfast is served, I don't even want to eat, continue with the earphones and very quiet until AGAIN I am disturbed by Fatty, and the "holding hand". He, for this time, apologizes for disturbing me before, I agree that he did but it was ok... and he tries to make me talk to him. "I think we could get to know each other better"... that only leaves me one option: "No. I already know you enough and I do not think there is anything else we need to know from each other!".

Good Lord, why does people do that to themselves?

Before leaving he comes with a little paper and asks "Your email?". I don't even look at him, get the paper and pen, write any name and email that pops on my mind and delivers back. Again, weak maybe, but I did not want any interaction or confrontation. Gone, "have a good life" and good bye.

...

But the flight adventure is not done! To enter the country there is the local customs line and the foreigners... and to my surprise, Handsome is right there, in front of me. On the locals. Perfect, not a local face, but a local person. Makes no difference to me after all, so Handsome. And there, on the line, again the looks. And looks. And while waiting for the baggage, the vacation started! A smile and a blink of an eye! All to me! we crossed again in the duty free, and another smile.

When I left the transition area, I was sure I had lost him. Gone. And there was my mom, poor her, 5:30am and she was there to pick me up. And I was looking for Handsome! I finally see him taking a coffee, I get ready to go there and wish him a good stay but , of course, with the company of my mom it was just not appropriate. Then I leave, with a last little look. Happy, feeling gorgeous and now definitely ready for vacations!!!

Kate

Back to the game

I know it's been too long and many things have happened in my life since last post but let's keep it brief: my "relationship" with Vitor is over. It's been 2 weeks, and I'm still devastated but trying to get back on track. I hate the idea of being back to the game. but I can't help it... so... I'm doing my best in order to see a bright side on almost every man. I still don't have much to tell you as of now but will do pretty soon. Or at least let's hope I do! hahaha
Sophia

Diversification?

I accepted Eli's invitation for a drink tonight. I don't really want to see him, I definitely don't want to make out with him, but thought that going out with him would be a good way to take focus off the kid I can't fall for.

Sometimes I feel like the key to risk management in real life is the same as in finance: diversification. I don't like it, I don't usually do it, but again, I'm not the most successful relationship investor around, am I? Hey, let's try something different, right?

So fine, I cleared my schedule (well, it was already clear, but still) and the damn guy doesn't contact me! What is this??? Can someone explain me that?

Dude, if you don't want to go out with me, don't ask me out, simple as that... you are the one getting in touch, not me! Am I the only one that think this is unacceptably rude??? Well, I can tell you that: no more cookies for him. I am not even going to bother answering the email he will probably send on Thursday.

Anyway, besides the focus off the kid strategy, I'm actually relieved. I am so tired that I just want to go home and watch Sex and the City DVDs, eat pre-made diet food and end the day with a bubble bath and self "inflicted"pedicure.

Who would imagine that "nothing to do" could actually be better than "going out with a douche"?

Bisous
Anne

Cougar Town

The kid texted me Friday night, around 9pm. I didn't have my phone with me so ended up replying only on Saturday. We agreed to meet. I was supposed to go to his house and pick up the earrings I "forgot" there (I know, oldest trick on the book). He told me I could stop by anytime after 8pm.

After a barbecue at a friend's house, around 9:30pm, I was really lazy... wanted to see the kid, but didn't want to cross town to do so, so I asked if there were any chances of a home delivery. He said something like: "yes, but I'm not sure when I can make it"... I kind of expected that, it happens to me all the time, I'm always the one willing to do the effort, so told him there was no problem, I would go to him.

Surprise, surprise, I have misunderstood it, he said it would be no problem coming to me, he just' wasn't sure how long it would take him since he is new in town. You probably won't understand it, but he got so many points for that. I explain: he was getting "some" anyway, I asked him to come over, but at the smallest sign of resistance, I told I would go to his house... but him, at the top of his 25 years old, was gentleman enough to come to see me.

The kid is adorable. We talked for a little while, fooled around for another while and slept with him holding me. So nice.

Normally my heart lives in my vagina. I can't help it, it just does. But this time I'm determined to change things around. I just want a f*ck buddy, that's it. I don't want another 3 month fairy tale "relationship". I want a kid to fool around with whenever I feel like it, to be completely emotionally detached while I look for the real deal - and an alternative so that I can behave if I meet someone with real potential.

I don't want to obsess if he is calling me or not, I want to feel free to call him whenever I want. I don't want to play hard to get. I just want to have fun and get back to practice. And to have someone besides Danish guy to run to when I need to spoon.

Anyway, so far, so good. I am not allowing myself to daydream about the kid, nor to make plans, nor to avoid making plans with other people just to keep my schedule opened for him. The only question is "how long can this last"... not the booty call "relationship", but my detachment. Will see.

Now I'm off to the gym... I need to get back into shape, start running, spinning... anything to make me fit enough to keep up with the kid. I really don't know how the 40 something year old cougars make it... 24 hours later, and I'm still dead.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

PS.: Eli asked me out again this week... haven't decided yet if I will go out with him. But even if I do, just the idea of kissing him turns my stomach. Not a good sign.

Eating with a spoon

There was a free open bar party (loved the concept, but still in almost not drinking mode, so just grabbed 2 or 3 small glasses of champagne) last Friday for the reopening of one of the coolest bars in town. The party was a well kept secret, so it wasn't crazy crowded but at the same time attracted the regulars from last fall.

Every time I go to such bar I, at the same time, fear and hope I will run into Danish guy. Didn't happen this time, instead, an adorable 25 year old German crossed my path.
After the party, my friends and I voted to go clubbing, the German kid decided to ditch his friends and tagged along. At the club we went to a still empty dance floor and slow danced to pop hits, completely out of the place's rhythm, totally into ours.

We kissed, made out like 25 years old do and engaged in a discussion on what would be a girl's goal in a night out. I mean, except for the "hang with my girlfriends or dance crap"...

I figured that are 3 alternatives, depending on the type of girl or the mood of the night:

1) Prince hunting: finding the man of the girl's dream is the ultimate goal;
2) Making out with a tall, young, handsome German (category I included myself into); or
3) Just as guys, get laid.

He was happy with my answer, but spent good part of the night trying to transfer me from category 2 to 3.

After the traditional discussion: "nothing else besides what is already happening will happen if I go to your place", I decided to join him for the night - to be honest, given my choice of underwear, I clearly had bad intentions even before leaving my house.

Truth to my world, we just continued making out, but I got the spooning as a bonus.

Next morning, before the walk of shame - thanking God I had an outfit that was also suitable for the day - he asked me if I wanted his number. I said no, but if he wanted mine that would be fine.

I gave the kid my number to immediately regret not taking his. I mean: this is definitely not a guy I would be interested in having a relationship with (otherwise, in our twisted world, I would probably not even have kissed him), far younger and newer to town than what I'm currently looking for... But, he would actually be the "perfect tool" to:

A) Avoid reaching out to Danish guy when nature calls (and, trust me, after almost 6 months, it is calling...); and
B) Keeping up the good behaviour with the guys I actually consider having a relationship with.

I know that's ridiculous (especially "B"), I would be the first one to criticize the concept, but I'm far too tired to keep on challenging the system. That's how things are...

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the kid is not going to call, which is perfectly fine, he served his purpose: sometimes, a girl just need to spoon.

Bisous
Anne

Full stop

The "taking it slow" reached a "full stop" point. The frequency of daily emails reduced and no more dates happened.

We actually tried to see each other, he asked me out, but I got really sick and ended up being away from social life - and from the country - for more than 2 weeks. My main theory is that he found another girl, maybe one more compatible with him.

On my end, I wish he had been cuter when he found out I was sick. Not that we were in a stage of the "relationship" that it would be expected for him to worry and take care of me, not that I would even allow him to see me (trust me, I looked awful), but he could have been more attentive.

To sum up, I guess we both realized we are 2 great people, but just not too great for each other. I hope eventually we become friends (and maybe he could introduce me to some other cuties).

Besides the "Eli end of story", I ended up going out with this Swiss - VERY Swiss - guy yesterday. I met him in February and since then we've been talking - texting - about meeting up for a drink. I know, it's ridiculous taking 6 months to set up a simple date. I take my share of responsibility, the guy once asked me out a month in advance the proposed date... being Latina, I could not take that seriously so just replied with a "call me next month".

Finally, 10 days ago (VERY Swiss), we agreed on meeting yesterday. I had very low expectations - really, 6 months to set up a date??? If he is Mr. Right, we will be getting married by the time we are 80 in this rhythm! - but when he showed up I realised he was waaaayyyy more handsome than what I remembered: tall, light blond hair, blue eyes, glasses, adorable nerdy face. A perfect Anne's boy.

We started the date at 6:30pm (did I mention he is VERY Swiss?!), had some wine (just one glass for me, since I'm still not fully recovered), talked non-stop. No awkward moments. At some point he suggested meeting up so he could help me with my German, which I took as an indication of him wanting to see me again in the future.

We said goodbye around 10pm , kiss on the cheek (VERY Swiss) and "we keep in touch" (which I - and probably all of you too - hate). But he added that we should meet up again after my vacation in September (...) or maybe before (I guess he could see in my face that the "keep in touch" and "see you in a month" were not crowed pleaser).

Anyway, this one is actually better in person than on paper, but something tells me I should not hold my breath waiting for him to set up date#2... Good dating practice though.

Bisous
Anne