Rejected, again.

Greg is right, always right. No matter how much we try to fool ourselves, he just always gets it. Today's post: if he is not asking you out, he is just not that in to you.

I ran into Beat yesterday at a street party and we (him, his friends, my friends and I) stayed kind of in the same place for the night. I wouldn't go so far as to say he completely ignored me because he is polite and we still got the WC finals to discuss, but that was it.

At some point, Jerome was tipsy and told the guy that he should stop looking at me (I didn’t see he looking at me at all) and go talk to me. Come on, how much more assurance do you need??? He responded with something vague like "not now".

Anyway, it wasn’t then, it wasn't after that either. At some point I went to the bathroom and when I was coming back I ran into him on his way to the toilette, we chatted for a few seconds, but no look, no cuteness, no spark (well, no spark for him). And we just went our separate ways.

Shortly after that, when he was coming back, he ran into his – ugly ugly – girl friends (one of which he spent a good amount of time talking to) that were leaving and left with them, not even a goodbye for us – for me.

To cheer me up, my friends kept telling me that the guy is just insecure. Come on, kids, he is 34, THIRTYFOUR, and not 12... and by 28 I think I can tell when a guy is interested and when he is not.

I'm kind of upset, feeling ugly and kicking myself for ruining everything with a great guy once more (flashback - the drunk making out episode). But at the same time, I've been rejected so many times I can quickly recover from that.

And I keep asking myself: will I ever be some guy's dream girl? Or will I always have to fight for them? I'm just exhausted.

Anne

Visit part deux

The midwesterner wanted to come back again last weekend. Since I'm genuinely interested and want to give this a chance, I said of course - although I'm concerned that so many hours straight is a recipe for disaster. However, it went off almost without a hitch. I have a short, NY temper (which I'm working on), so I had one or two moments on the verge of snapping. However, all in all, we got along great, had a ton of fun, and ended the weekend on Monday morning before work :). We already made plans for two weeks from now. I'm visiting him and attending a work party and meeting his parents. Intense?

I've all but forgotten about other guys and have lost interest completely in trying to keep up with my normally robust dating schedule. Is this a good sign, or am I jinxing myself and might I be kidding myself about a relationship with someone from another part of the country? I know it's only been six weeks and a few visits, but the last thing I want as I approach 30 is to be with a guy who isn't taking this seriously, because of the distance and our very different lifestyles. On the other hand, Anne always says that if two people fall in love, distance doesn't matter. And she can cite a million examples. But could I be one?

Xx

Lauren

Quiz

Who here is in favor of me emailing Beat to ask:

a) What did he think about the WC finals?; or
b) What did he think about the WC finals AND ask him out to lunch?

Who here thinks I should not email him but should keep the PP'10 by bugging Jerome to set up more group events?

Who here thinks I should stop bugging you with my PP'10? ;)

Guinness award

I really don't know why I still bother thinking things will ever work out for me. Of course Beat never showed up yesterday. I should win the Guinness award for the “girl who was most stood up in the world”.

Anyway, I should not take it personally because it wasn't a date and the place was so packed you could barely move (sorry for making excuses on his behalf). I was upset yesterday but when I woke up I just felt like it's not a big deal.

Not him not showing up, but him and my "project". Again, I like the idea of him, but not sure I like him.

In addition to that, I've been planning my summer vacation... a week in a yatch in Ibiza! Maybe it's best that nothing starts between Beat (or any other guy) and I until I get back since I will probably be "stuck" in a boat with what seems to be 5 tall, blond, well educated, Austrian dudes ;)

I will confirm as soon as I have everything settled and also keep you posted on my non-story with Beat.

Ah, before I forget: yesterday was the birthday of the 25 (now 26) year old I mentioned in my "last relationship" section... I sent him an email, no questions, no sentiments, just wishing him happy birthday... I know he is not going to answer (and I'm really ok with that, especially since there were no questions and given that I know he is dating someone else, 5 years my junior...) but he will always have a special place in my heart.

Off to lunch time tanning.

Bisous
Anne

P a lot of P'10

I did see Beat yesterday. He managed to spend 30 minutes talking about soccer with me (maybe the guy that once told me I shouldn't let men know I understand so much about soccer is right... grrrr) and that chat was enough to convince me he is just not interested...

...until I ran into him coming out of the bathroom. Without an audience he was much cuter, looked at me differently and I could swear he almost kissed me when we said good bye.

Instead of a "see you very soon", I got a "see you tomorrow" after he asked me if I would be at the same place for the game tonight.

Well, I am looking forward to see him tonight, but I have to admit that my project is running out of fuel: the patience.

Bisous
Anne

Vacation from myself

I've tried. I've really tried. But, in the end, I still couldn’t. It is so annoying knowing me this well… sometimes I wish I could take a break from myself and when I was to come back from vacation, there would be something new, surprising about me.

Not the case.

I told you I wasn’t gonna like geeky guy, didn’t I? But we agreed I should give him a chance. Well, I did, he took it and we went out for drinks.

We went to my favorite pub where I end up having far too many beers for my empty stomach. Long story short (especially because I don’t really remember all the details), I got wasted, he was sweet and even though I could barely spell my name, I still didn’t make out with him.

Just to make sure you got the picture: I was drunk and still didn’t make out with a guy that was being sweet to me.

We said our goodbyes and I woke up the next day being surer than ever that there was no future for geeky and I. Apparently he didn’t get the same impression, since he keeps bombarding me with emails, chats, sms, smoke signals, messages in a bottle, etc.

The worst part is that having a date with him just made me want the “unspeakable” more.

In addition to that little tale, I’ve also been talking to one of my guy friends about our “situation”. We’ve known each other for quite a while, we are part of the same group of friends and lately I started noticing more than the usual friendly vibe from him.

Since we are such good friends we decided not to just let nature take it course, but to discuss the issue as grown ups.

We briefly talked about it and decided to taste it before deciding. We kissed. I didn’t feel a thing but I’m not sure that was his take out of it too…

Anyway, since he is such an amazing guy, I decided not to close myself to the possibility yet… but, as I said in the beginning of this post, I know me far too well to have real hopes on this case.

Sophia

Fingers crossed...

... I think I will see Beat tomorrow... no, not a date, just another group event. At least another opportunity to carry on my PP'10, show him how absolutely not crazy I am and hope for the best (well, something else than the third episode of the "see you very soon" saga).

Wish me luck!

Bisous
Anne