Back to the game

I know it's been too long and many things have happened in my life since last post but let's keep it brief: my "relationship" with Vitor is over. It's been 2 weeks, and I'm still devastated but trying to get back on track. I hate the idea of being back to the game. but I can't help it... so... I'm doing my best in order to see a bright side on almost every man. I still don't have much to tell you as of now but will do pretty soon. Or at least let's hope I do! hahaha
Sophia

Vacation from myself

I've tried. I've really tried. But, in the end, I still couldn’t. It is so annoying knowing me this well… sometimes I wish I could take a break from myself and when I was to come back from vacation, there would be something new, surprising about me.

Not the case.

I told you I wasn’t gonna like geeky guy, didn’t I? But we agreed I should give him a chance. Well, I did, he took it and we went out for drinks.

We went to my favorite pub where I end up having far too many beers for my empty stomach. Long story short (especially because I don’t really remember all the details), I got wasted, he was sweet and even though I could barely spell my name, I still didn’t make out with him.

Just to make sure you got the picture: I was drunk and still didn’t make out with a guy that was being sweet to me.

We said our goodbyes and I woke up the next day being surer than ever that there was no future for geeky and I. Apparently he didn’t get the same impression, since he keeps bombarding me with emails, chats, sms, smoke signals, messages in a bottle, etc.

The worst part is that having a date with him just made me want the “unspeakable” more.

In addition to that little tale, I’ve also been talking to one of my guy friends about our “situation”. We’ve known each other for quite a while, we are part of the same group of friends and lately I started noticing more than the usual friendly vibe from him.

Since we are such good friends we decided not to just let nature take it course, but to discuss the issue as grown ups.

We briefly talked about it and decided to taste it before deciding. We kissed. I didn’t feel a thing but I’m not sure that was his take out of it too…

Anyway, since he is such an amazing guy, I decided not to close myself to the possibility yet… but, as I said in the beginning of this post, I know me far too well to have real hopes on this case.

Sophia

Rodizio

After weeks avoiding it I finally accepted the invitation of the geeky guy that works across the hall.... I have been speaking with him for a while in the company's chat, but have no - if not negative - interest in going for something more than a friendly chat during boring mid- afternoons.

Reasons why I didn't want to go out with him:
- He is not my type.
- He is not cute.
- He is not older.
- He is showing genuine interest in getting to know me.
- You shouldn't eat the meat where you earn the bread, and in the past I've treated the workplace as a rodizio....

However, after I slipped in one of my email exchanges with Lauren, Anne and Kate, they basically obliged me to give the poor boy a chance (as per Lauren's maxima: everybody has a chance).

So after rescheduling a couple of times, I finally let myself be taken to lunch.... and.... it was fine.... he is slightly cuter than what I remembered, a little bit more interesting than what I expected. But, anyway, still not my type and still waaaaayyy to interested in me for my taste....

Anyhow, I decided to go with the flow, can't tell you by now if I would say yes or no to another possible less casual invitation, but he is still there to help me cope with afternoon boredom.

I will let you know how it goes...

Sophia

Sophia: to email or no to email...

I can’t believe I’m finally on vacation, in London, and can’t stop thinking about a guy that doesn’t want anything serious with me! I’ve been following a strategy of not contacting him - ok that strategy started only a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been doing pretty well so far. I even began to see some results. But it´s been 4 days since our last contact and I’m dying to talk to him.

Besides, I’m feeling kind of bad because I didn’t tell him when I was leaving for Europe, I just told him it would be soon. (and he always tells me when he travels and when he comes back – every other week he goes on a business trip for 5 or even more days).

I was hoping he would ask the exact date I was gonna leave but he did not. Anyway, I managed not to tell him and wait for another contact and then say “ hi, I’m sorry, I can’t see you today, cause I’m in Europe!!” But that didn’t happen on those last 4 days – he didn’t email or call me, and I was not supposed to start any kind of contact.

Now I’m having breakfast, in London, ready to start my sightseeing, but I just can’t even decide where to begin because I’m thinking about him.
(pause)
Ok, I just emailed him… don’t blame me, pls. I was feeling real bad and “guilty for not saying goodbye. Anyway, my email actually had a point: He comes to London every now and then and told me that he could give me some advice on places to go, if I wanted to. So, it was about time to collect that offer! Haha. I just wrote him that I was in London (no apologies for not tell him before) and that I had just finished reading a book he gave me about a month ago, and that I wanted his advice on restaurants. It’s still every early in Brazil, so I can relax and enjoy at least a few hours of London without any expectation of response!

Sophia

Sophia on passion fruit juice

So, there is this guy – Victor, (the one from my profile that I mentioned I was not ready to tell you about. We've been seeing each other for about 6 months. Everything you could ever imagine has already happened to us. From black-out to “executive lunch”).

He just got out of a 12 year relationship ("marriage") and, even though I should've known better, I let myself get involved. I mean, deeply involved!! I'm totally into this guy, like I have never been to anyone. He makes me believe in love at first sight, in soul mate, and this kind of stuff. Yes, soul mate... it's unbelievable how much we have in common. And I'm not the only one that have noticed it... he was the first one to mention that.

Anyway... It's been really hard for me to pretend I'm ok with the status of our relationship. So, a couple of weeks ago I sent him an email basically telling him that I got myself involved and wanted to know where that relationship was heading to. I know, I know, I shouldn't have done that, but come on... I was feeling bad, not to know what was going on between us was driving me crazy!!

He basically told me he didn’t want to get serious with anyone at that point in time, but that he liked me and didn't want to "break up". Oh, and also told me to chill out and drink "passion fruit juice" - which is supposed to make you calm. Well, that's what I did, I chilled out, didn't answer his email at all, and 5 days later I called him at work and asked if he wanted to have lunch. We promptly said yes and we had this nice, great, drama free lunch! I didn't say a word about my email. And now you ask me why? Because I guess he already got the message and there is nothing I can do or say now. I still want him (real bad!), but now the strategy is not to talk about annoying things anymore. I'm going to be the nicest girl ever and make him pursue me!

Right after lunch, he sent me this nice and cute email saying that he really enjoyed that time and that it was "equally nice but somehow different".

But now he is gone on a business trip (which I'm afraid will turn into tourism with his ex...) and not a word from him for the past week! Well, he gets back today so hopefully in the next couple of days I will have more news for you...

Fingers crossed!!!
Sophia

The Flower Dress Theory

Since Sophia is very busy learning how to erase our mistakes, I'm going to post an email she sent to Lauren and I a couple of days ago summarizing the dos and don'ts for getting the guy you like - the flower dress theory.

- They can't read our mind;
- When we complain, they feel awful, like the worst man on earth and therefore, they run:
- They hate seeing us suffer, therefore, they run;
- They feel responsible for everything that affect us and, if it is a negative thing, they suffer, therefore, they run;
- Do not withhold feelings, if something is bothering you, speak up, BUT ALWAYS IN A NICE WAY. If you keep everything that is bothering you, eventually you will explode, dump everything on them (him). They don't understand a thing, think you are crazy, feel bad and responsible and, therefore, they run.

Conclusion (aka, the "flower dress"):
- Be nice. Smile, be pretty and happy. Don't make him responsible for your happiness or pain. And, if something is bothering, speak up, but try not to make him think as he is the worst man on earth and responsible for all the pain you are feeling.

Anne for Sophia

Sophia + Man Mistake Eraser!!!

Hello girls! I’m so excited! I just bought a Man Mistake Eraser kit – how to regain a man’s interest.
Girls, there is a hope! And I´m going to learn all about it in those books. I’m already on page 35 (book 1), and it’s amazing how we mess up things without even noticing it.
I’m totally focus on learning how to erase my previous mistakes and I promiss to keep you updated with the tips!
Xoxo
Sophia

Sophia + the internet

Hello everyone! I know that I should be talking about relationships and dates on this blog, specially on my very first post but I'm afraid that this won't start the right way.

I'm here to share with you my panic: I've been with no internet for 5 days!!!! If you knew me well you would understand how I'm feeling! The first I do when I get home or wake up is to turn my computer on! I can't describe how my w-end was without checking and updating my facebook! At least I have my blackberry! But even the bberry was playing on me: It's internet explorer is not working!! So I had to fullfill me with emails and chating on bbm.

Ok, now what does it have to do with dating and relationships? Everything!!! Internet is a way to avoid AND relief my anxiety cause by guys. Without it I spent even more time thinking over my failures and dreaming about things I should NOT! My weekend turned out to be terrible! I'm overwelmed with my own thoughts!

At least I'm going to take vacation in 3 weeks so that's something else I can be obsessed about. But the thing is: I've always used travelling as an excused to run away from my problems, and of course, those have always been maily related to guys! I have promissed me that I wouldn't use travelling as a runaway gate anymore, since when you come back your problems are all waiting for you and you need to face them again. Ok, ok, vacation is great to at least cheer you up but it doesn't solve anything.

Sophia!

How does dating work in your country?

3 beautiful, intelligent, successful, single women in 3 different countries USA, Switzerland and Brazil, try to find the answer to this question by sharing their day to day experiences in the pursue of love, fun and something to obsess about on boring days.

We hope you have fun and feel good about your self knowing that “no, you are not the only single girl out there”.

Xx, Bisous, Beijinhos.

Lauren, Anne, Sophia.