Vacations, sweet vacations...

Finally it's time to head to the airport and fly back home for 10 days of pure and simple "nothing". No time, no stress, no nothing. Only the good somethings like friends, shopping, family, resting, nice restaurants... Love that sensation of running to the freedom world, when actually I'm just going to the airport still.

On the way, as usual, I am daydreaming of the potential nice and cute guys traveling to Latin America, or even somewhere else. Airports are just very charming and full of interesting stories, people, faces, situations. But, of course, there is the terrible detectors and passport controls. This time, I feel lucky. Gorgeous man, very tall, "mannish" face, nice hair with a little grey initiating... but I am really feeling too good and a bit cocky, I must admit.

However, it's not like he turned left and went to Asia. No, no, of course, he made the exact same path I did, looking from time to time and, most importantly, no smiles. Only looks. And we wait, the plane is crowded, and not only the Handsome is going to the same direction, but the same flight. Oh, well, too nice for a vacation start. So nice I did not even bother that my little sit was next to an obese gentleman, occupying his sit and 1/3 of mine.

That thought only lasted 3 seconds... and the Fatty starts to talk. You know when we think how can people just be happy and talkative? How does that happen, my Lord!? From where do I live, if I like it here, or there, where had I lived and my answers were just "yes", "no", "here", "there" or just a yellow smile. I am tired, I want to go on vacations, I do not need Fatty bugging my trip home, talking and wanting to be friends??? Remember, my ego was up in the clouds, Handsome looking before, feeling great going away! There was something like "we can exchange emails and meet while you are in town now on the vacations!" Answer: yellow smile and already with my headphones on pretending to be listening to music.

Finally, I can watch a movie and simply ignore the annoying presence. I cannot sleep soon, so 2 movies in a row, I laugh, I cry and suddenly the Fatty tried to hold my hand. My God, on what grounds? I want to scream, ask for help! The person, occupying my seat, wanting my email, and suddenly trying to hold my hand? My God! Wake up! Look at the mirror and get a life! "Excuse me" removing my hand abruptly and ignoring any conversation sound.

I pull again the most possible distance, was almost kissing the window, and desiring that this flight finishes as soon as possible. No, I am not causing a scandal, asking to move places, making people uncomfortable on a flight! My God, what an inconvenient person! Not only he is using my sit, he is inconvenient!!! Sleep arrives... sweet, nice, comforting and quiet.

And... we are almost there! Breakfast is served, I don't even want to eat, continue with the earphones and very quiet until AGAIN I am disturbed by Fatty, and the "holding hand". He, for this time, apologizes for disturbing me before, I agree that he did but it was ok... and he tries to make me talk to him. "I think we could get to know each other better"... that only leaves me one option: "No. I already know you enough and I do not think there is anything else we need to know from each other!".

Good Lord, why does people do that to themselves?

Before leaving he comes with a little paper and asks "Your email?". I don't even look at him, get the paper and pen, write any name and email that pops on my mind and delivers back. Again, weak maybe, but I did not want any interaction or confrontation. Gone, "have a good life" and good bye.

...

But the flight adventure is not done! To enter the country there is the local customs line and the foreigners... and to my surprise, Handsome is right there, in front of me. On the locals. Perfect, not a local face, but a local person. Makes no difference to me after all, so Handsome. And there, on the line, again the looks. And looks. And while waiting for the baggage, the vacation started! A smile and a blink of an eye! All to me! we crossed again in the duty free, and another smile.

When I left the transition area, I was sure I had lost him. Gone. And there was my mom, poor her, 5:30am and she was there to pick me up. And I was looking for Handsome! I finally see him taking a coffee, I get ready to go there and wish him a good stay but , of course, with the company of my mom it was just not appropriate. Then I leave, with a last little look. Happy, feeling gorgeous and now definitely ready for vacations!!!

Kate

And the disaster comes....

I already knew I should have postponed the date of yesterday. After the great weekend, and the mindset of this being only a dating status, I felt it was too much to have a date right on Wednesday (specially since we had casually met on Tuesday evening). It was too much in all senses, and specially because the program included DVD at my place.

Of course, while at dinner (great Japanese food) all was fine. We were outside, nice weather, nice talk, no gluing moments or "couple's" moments. As a fair agreement, since we have been dating for over one month, some dinners we split the cost. Honestly, perfectly fine for me as long as it's not all dinners. Paying time, I had some cash (not enough) and and so did he. Now, instead of dominating the bull and being in charge, he let me pay with the Maestro and now he owes me 25 bucks. That's the beginning of intimacy on an inexistent relationship.

I took a deep breath, and I knew that even though he had offered that we went to his place this time, it was common agreement to leave it to another day (it's really damn far away for me to go home afterwards). There, we start seeing the teenager boy German again.... We went home, and everyone who knows me a little, is fully aware I am not the perfect organized person. Simply not. The boxes on the hallway are to stay there, I am moving after all! It's part of the drill! but the person needs to enter the flat, and simply remove them of the way and put by the wall. As an action, I have no problem and then it comes the sentence "this is too much mess for my sense of organization".

Excuse me? You are a guest, at my place, on a date you invited (and I paid), and we are watching DVD on my place and you still change things around for the sake of your sense of organization.... Oh boy....

As polite as I can be, turned on the TV and the movie started. Of course that along the movie I came close. Who does not like a hug? And a little kiss from time to time? Well, the problem is that whenever he did something, was already irritating. After the movie I wanted him to leave. Just go home. Nothing more to do, or say. But no... the person was allocated in my couch as a donkey. All the signs to avoid the request of "I think you should go home now". Got to a point he simply turned the TV off, my TV, because he had a great idea to read Cosmo magazine and try to make me get out of my bad mood. Fine, the idea might have been decent, but he turned off the TV while I was watching!

Finally, he goes. Clearly very sad, telling things like "I bored you during this date", or "it's obvious you do not want to spend more time with me", or "I don't mind sleeping still a bit more late to be able to stay here with you a little more". Oh lord, can you be more cheeeeeesy?

This morning I sent a "hi" message just to be polite and we agreed (well, I informed) I still need time, less intimacy, less contact, more time, more me-myself-and-I.... At the end, he stated that it's clear that, and he is willing to give me all the time and space (my mind is already "willing to give me?" I do not need him to "give" me anything simply because he is not my anything! But I do control myself) and that he hopes that someday I'll let him in, even just a little bit.

I never had believed in the rebounds per say, but they to exist. I do not see myself letting him in, or opening up not even one inch. Good for the spirit, but I don't think I'll take more then that on this one... even though I promised to keep my heart and mind opened!

Xoxo
Kate

From Boy to Man

Step by step, must admit, but the German Boy is becoming a teenager with potential to be a man. Have done the inconsequent decision, already a few weeks ago, to go abroad on a weekend with him. I tend to do these things that are never good, only creates uncomfortable situations and can pretty much jeopardize my reputation. Travelling around with a person I do not know, who works and live at the same little village, having broke up only a few months ago a very public relationship… But, I do it because this is me. I like it, I feel relaxed and comfortable enough with the person for that, Really I do not recall the traditional rules to be followed.

So, there were we, he stayed overnight on Friday since the flight was really early on Saturday. Was really a proper decision, two teenagers making out and no further action but sleep. To my surprise, the wake up call was also not active (for me), since he had brought fresh fruits, yogurt and prepared breakfast for us. Yes, breakfast in bed and we were still not even travelling. On the way to the airport, I was still quiet (takes me a long time to really wake up) and the person was very active talking… Thank God I am polite and smiled to his comments, and at some point I did wake up and started to respond. Yet again, this was not an issue and was faced by him as a reality, "have to deal with it right" and respected a bit my quiet morning moment.

Arriving in Prague, I had decided to let him be the lead of the weekend. Was all his idea, his plans and he was the one who already knew the city. Needless to say, he was doing very well in leading and telling me the things, explaining places, where, why, what. We were in the centre of the city and entered this five stars hotel, classic, traditional, almost imperial. Oh wow! The room was not ready so we went to the Spa to change (it was bloody warm) and start the tourism! On my summery dress we walked what I thought was to be cultural first but no: he took me shopping. Yes ladies, not on the traditional luxury stores, but he actually spend time with me looking into local (and very special) jewellery makers, porcelain, clothes. It was a good team combination the day… we walked store by store, had laughs, stopped by for a sandwich, walked a bit more, returned to the hotel. The room was ready and…. It was not a room, it was a flat! A living room, walk in closet, huge bed! Definitely, feeling like a princess, we ended up sleeping a bit, and woke up only for dinner…

For dinner, we had agreed to go fancy. Bawl gown, suit, crystals, Jimmy Choos…. Indeed a classy, upper class restaurant and delicious food! Again, the talk, the interest in knowing me better, asking question, discussing opinions, laughing of the old ladies with strange hats on the next table, and the blonde prostitute with a transparent dress on the other table was the scene of a perfect evening. Almost 1:00 am we returned to the Hotel, and even though the plan was to go out an party, it was raining so much that we decided to stay in.

Sunday morning, "I want to go sightseeing"!!! C'mon, I am here, have done enough of romantic blabla yesterday. As you can see, woke up not on my best moments. I did not want to stay in bed, with kisses and hugs until 11:00 am… two hours less would have been enough and I could go and see castles, museums, historical places! I know, you are thinking I am crazy, have mental problems and should go to a psychiatric house. But then again, I am not going to be the Girlfriend anytime soon. I am definitely not ready, my mind still has some "special" moments, I cannot commit now. So, let's enjoy the time together not necessarily in the romance mode! Finally I managed to make my point without being rude. I was definitely happy then! Great company, insights, comments, tips, information, talks, walks.

And there, at some points of leading the way along the weekend, he is really teenager and even a man sometimes. Gentleman, caring, thoughtful. Still, drinks chocolate milk and not coffee, sometimes is like a schoolboy in puberty, can make jokes like Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey in their worse dumb movies… Maybe, I am still asking too much and creating problems (like thinking this is all for the sex, which I know can be a very stupid thought considering all the effort done). Maybe I just cannot see that he it many things that I appreciate… smart, intelligent, nice, gentle, carrying (I said that already), dedicated, ambitious, funny. Or is it all just me arming myself to hold on to this a bit more until the finalization of my last relationship is gone, cleared, passed and buried?

Promise I'll keep the mind and heart opened, as much as possible…..

Xoxo
Kate

The arrogance turned into thoughtful actions

Well, well, after the very intense break up of my last relationship, I should be aware that it is needed some time alone. Not alone in the sofa, but simply alone for me to review the facts, reasons why I exploded after having the "perfect-life" situation. The reason why it all happened the way it happened is still being thought and developed in my mind. I definitely need to change and adjust myself a bit more when it comes to settling a relationship…. Then again, this is theme for another post!

Back to the focus: German Boy. You know when you think you saw enough or arrogant people, there is always room for improvements in your standards. Here I am, dating a guy that is not my physical favourite type (at all), a bit geek, extremely arrogant (based on the intelligence I guess), a bit too much self-assured, bossy… and still, I am enjoying!! It has been already more then one month, and through the time not only he demonstrated interest in me, in my stories, in my likes and dislikes, but also the listens.

I mentioned once that on a train ride around here there is a beautiful, fantastic view. Just that. Two days later, I receive a gift…. Not really wrapped, but very special: a picture he took himself of the city view from up a hill (or something like that). Beautiful! In a normal day, I would say it's a bit too much. I do not like, definitely not, too much of attention. Of course, the world needs to realize I am here, but for a guy, I like that he makes me still feel there is a world or friends, people, things to do that simply does not include me. And having that much of attention on the first week of dating (actually after the second official date) could be a bit over-doing. And it wasn't.

So, all that arrogance and talks on business that we have (of the professional ambition and analysis of our colleagues and bosses) simply disappear when he does those little thoughtful things!

You might remember (or maybe I did not tell) that I travelled to the UK some weekends ago. Being there I saw a book of the history of Valentino (yes, me love it!). It was definitely to heavy to carry back home, so I just mentioned and thought of buying at Amazon or so…. Yes, you know already the end of the story, I have the book and it was not me buying! Another very good catch, well thought gift. Killing the aspects of over-arrogant-geek to a very nice and pleasant thoughtful company!

Last but not least, the cheese! My thing is certainly not going to the mountains carrying a tent and sleeping over on a non-appropriate-place. But, the self confident German Boy thinks he is superman and loves doing this adventures! Good for him, as my friend would say, and this time, good for me! As a cheese lover, the last action of attention was a piece of fresh cheese, directly from the mountain's farm.

Just hope I can manage to keep myself on a good distance, simply to preserve all this to become The Rebound 2 (which actually is a movie that I simply loved)…

Xxx
Kate

Welcome Kate!

After a long and cold Date-Hibernation, I went out on Friday with a Genfer friend, she was here in the German part of the world only Friday and Saturday. We decided to go to a bar, have only some finger food and talk. At the terrace bar, crowded as always, we waited inside for a little while already with our white wine/champagne in hands. Sooner rather then later, we were sitting outside on a table close to 3 Germans. To avoid any compromising, we spoke in Spanish about our ex/current, job, life complaints and the regular seek for cuties… For our lovely surprise, they approached us, in Spanish, asking from where we were.

Oh God lord, there is no safe language to talk around here, definitely! And so we met Leonart, Matthias and Emmanuel. Clearly, one not real German but with a nice foot in Italy. There was then more wine, and more wine, and a little bit of cheese and olives. Our new friends were fun, interested and absolutely up for fun! Needless to say, I got to know Leonart a bit better and my friend interacted better with Emmanuel. Poor Matthias was simply there, looking around and trying to catch up with some pieces of conversation here and there. At some point (already very late) I had to go home and had no conditions whatsoever to sit on the public transport and feel my head turning around. Jumped on the first cab I found and, fortunately got home in good shape.

Now, why do we have mobiles and why do we keep flirts around that are not having fun somewhere else in town??? German Boy (I'll have to present him on another special note) was always a live option for SMS chatting and this time: a live option to keep me awake and not lose my 7AM flight to the UK. Said and one, there he was downstairs and, as a good girl we remained downstairs, as good teenagers kissing and teasing until I had to go to the airport. Obviously he took me there, did the check in and suddenly for my blunt surprise there was Leonart also there, checking in for a flight to Hamburg… Oh My God! I quickly turned and tried to be invisible, and managed that none of them notice…. Did Leonart mention that he was flying on the next morning?? Well, the wine blurred everything, but I have the feeling he did but the level of drinks did not allow me to process the information!

On the plane, happy and proud of my return to the Dating-Confusion world. Feeling free, drunk, sleepy, tired, fulfilled and definitely looking forward for more!

XoXo
Kate