My weekend outside NY. Way outside of NY

I got on a flight out to Pittsburgh to meet the new beaus' colleagues, parents and friends. The beginning was a disaster. My flight was packed ans I arrived to an awkward welcome. It had been three weeks since we'd seen each other and between the cheap square toe shoe and nervous laugh he had. Our first few hours were awful, and he claimed that all of the jittery energy had something to do with 3 cups of late afternoon coffee. Yeah right.



The company party went off well and the awkwardness wore off. I think it was a combination of cocktails, good food, and my remembering what I liked about him.



Saturday was a significant improvement, and things got better every hour. Some time with the parents, friends from high school, neighbors... Met them all. And I was dressed to impress them all. Beach cover ups, gold sandals, jewelry changes,... I was the fanciest person in all of Pittsburgh! Ha. Isn't it a NY motto that overdressed is always better than underdressed?



Saturday night we barhopped and ended up at his parents house late. We decided that the best idea was to sleep together in his childhood room. I've never done that before. The morning was a bit awkward at breakfast with his mom, at least for me.



Oh, and the piece that I almost left out - the sex and the city nightmare - Sunday morning consisted of that on and off sleep. My stomach was killing me from drinking, junk food, and weekend without much bathroom privacy. You can guess the horrendous feeling when an unladylike noise escaped. We both pretended we were asleep. But I know we weren't. It was awful. How can that be forgotten? Not only does his mom think I'm a slut, he thinks I'm a pig!



Ayayay. At least he still seemed into me on Sunday during the day. We've got plans for 2 weeks from now.



Xx

Lauren

Taking it "slow"

Friday night: glued to my couch, watching friends and exchanging emails with Eli. He was living very far and it took me a while to answer about my plans for the night. He said he should have emailed me earlier, but now that he was already where the “wind makes the curve” - not so sure this phrasal verb makes sense in English :) – he was gonna have a relaxed night and rent a bad movie on itunes.

Saturday “morning” (well, I woke up at noon): Got an email from Eli asking me to lunch. Meet him (and his luggage, he was moving flats) and go to Japanese restaurant. Not sure it’s a date or 2 palls hanging out. Head to his new place to get the keys and leave some stuff, help him inspecting the apartment and already make plans for his balcony (can’t help but using the world “we” for “we need to buy a grill for the balcony”… blush when I realized I used the “w” word). Go for a coffee, talk a little bit about past relationships. From what I can see, he is a relationship guy and there are several ex-girlfriends, all seemed to be locked in the past and miles and miles away though. Good. Bought hand towels for the new house and walked him to where he takes the bus, very close to my house. No attempt to kiss me this time, but a promise to text me later with plans for the night.

Saturday night: Got a text while in the movies, told me he was gonna go out with the crew he went to dinner with, asked about my plans. Adapt his plans (and the crew’s plans) for my plans. Arrive to the place, I was with a bunch of people, he was with a bunch of people. Talked for a while but split. Texted some more and went home (he went clubbing).

Sunday morning: Wake up to “I’m sorry I couldn’t ditch the people I went to dinner with” and question about my plans for the day. Exchange a couple of emails, ask him to join my friends and I for brunch – my iphone played a trick on me and never delivered the email – didn’t hear from him for a couple of hours, got kind of pissed (good sign!). Get an answer to previous random email, don’t understand, go to sent items and realized the technical problem - yes, he sent me another email even though he thought I haven’t answered the last :)

Sunday afternoon: Agree to meet and go to the lake, but he has groceries (and milk…) so offer my fridge. He gets to my place and sits on the couch. We watched 2 ½ movies, some series and decide to eat. I cook some pasta, we watch a show about cars.

Sunday night: It’s time for him to leave, I’m convinced he wants to be my friend (sorry, no space in my life for another male friend, according to Jerome). I open the door, we are about to say goodbye. He kisses me. Such a good kiss, such a perfect first kiss. He asks me if he could see me this week. Sure he can.

You have no idea how different this is to me…. I’m used to instantly making out and falling in love at first sight. You have no idea how much I’m enjoying the taking it slow thing. Looking back – errr, to Thursday, maybe it’s not that slow… – I think it’s great I didn’t kiss him, because after spending 2 days together I fancy him much more.

I’m not in love (it may sounds weird, but normally I know immediately if I really like the guy) but I like him. And I can’t wait to see him again.

Bisous
Anne

Another almost

I went to a house warming party last night and Eli, the Canadian guy, was there. We chatted in the beginning, showed some familiarity due to our email exchange routine and than went to mingle. I caught him looking at me a couple of times.

I looked at him and mentioned to another friend what an idiot I was for not fancying him. She promptly agreed. I looked a little more and decided he was really cute and I should give it a shot. We talked in several small occasions during the night and at some point he sat by my side.

He is a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong, I am, at the moment, for the past 3 weeks and for the next 2 weeks a vegetarian as well. But that's it. And call me old fashioned, but I'm a girl, I'm allowed to be a vegetarian to lose weight, but he is a guy and guys eat meat. Guys love meat.

I - prayed and - asked if that was because he felt bad about the animals (God no, please please please no) and he told me it was just because processed and industrialized meat was unhealthy... I'm not sure if this is better or worst than feeling bad for the animals.

I know, this is extreme prejudice from my side. But it is one more point to add to his kind of feminine features... don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he is gay (even though he might) or anything, but he is just not masculine enough for me.

We both left the party at the same time and my house was on his way to getting the train, when I stopped at my doorsteps he came to say good bye, ready for a kiss. I could feel his hand in my lower back bringing me closer and his face close to mine trying to stop the freak 3 kisses on the cheek show they have in Switzerland.

Even though I really - REALLY - need a kiss (last one was Danish guy, more than 2 months ago...), I kept with the 3 kisses on the cheek and practically ran into my house. He looked puzzled. As I sat on my couch I started asking myself why I didn’t kiss him. And I guess the answer is up on this post... I'm just an idiot when it comes to guys.

Anyway, for what is worth, it was nice feeling wanted by a cute guy.

Let's see, maybe a kiss changes everything and I found a vegetarian partner that likes camping and lived in India... yeah, right.

Bisous
Anne - and I don't know why I'm still single... pfffff...

And the disaster comes....

I already knew I should have postponed the date of yesterday. After the great weekend, and the mindset of this being only a dating status, I felt it was too much to have a date right on Wednesday (specially since we had casually met on Tuesday evening). It was too much in all senses, and specially because the program included DVD at my place.

Of course, while at dinner (great Japanese food) all was fine. We were outside, nice weather, nice talk, no gluing moments or "couple's" moments. As a fair agreement, since we have been dating for over one month, some dinners we split the cost. Honestly, perfectly fine for me as long as it's not all dinners. Paying time, I had some cash (not enough) and and so did he. Now, instead of dominating the bull and being in charge, he let me pay with the Maestro and now he owes me 25 bucks. That's the beginning of intimacy on an inexistent relationship.

I took a deep breath, and I knew that even though he had offered that we went to his place this time, it was common agreement to leave it to another day (it's really damn far away for me to go home afterwards). There, we start seeing the teenager boy German again.... We went home, and everyone who knows me a little, is fully aware I am not the perfect organized person. Simply not. The boxes on the hallway are to stay there, I am moving after all! It's part of the drill! but the person needs to enter the flat, and simply remove them of the way and put by the wall. As an action, I have no problem and then it comes the sentence "this is too much mess for my sense of organization".

Excuse me? You are a guest, at my place, on a date you invited (and I paid), and we are watching DVD on my place and you still change things around for the sake of your sense of organization.... Oh boy....

As polite as I can be, turned on the TV and the movie started. Of course that along the movie I came close. Who does not like a hug? And a little kiss from time to time? Well, the problem is that whenever he did something, was already irritating. After the movie I wanted him to leave. Just go home. Nothing more to do, or say. But no... the person was allocated in my couch as a donkey. All the signs to avoid the request of "I think you should go home now". Got to a point he simply turned the TV off, my TV, because he had a great idea to read Cosmo magazine and try to make me get out of my bad mood. Fine, the idea might have been decent, but he turned off the TV while I was watching!

Finally, he goes. Clearly very sad, telling things like "I bored you during this date", or "it's obvious you do not want to spend more time with me", or "I don't mind sleeping still a bit more late to be able to stay here with you a little more". Oh lord, can you be more cheeeeeesy?

This morning I sent a "hi" message just to be polite and we agreed (well, I informed) I still need time, less intimacy, less contact, more time, more me-myself-and-I.... At the end, he stated that it's clear that, and he is willing to give me all the time and space (my mind is already "willing to give me?" I do not need him to "give" me anything simply because he is not my anything! But I do control myself) and that he hopes that someday I'll let him in, even just a little bit.

I never had believed in the rebounds per say, but they to exist. I do not see myself letting him in, or opening up not even one inch. Good for the spirit, but I don't think I'll take more then that on this one... even though I promised to keep my heart and mind opened!

Xoxo
Kate

Calendar Girl

My midwestern man has had no type of conversation with me about our "relationship" and what it is or where it's going. In fact, there's been no mention of exclusivity or terminology. I'm happy to go with this flow for a little while, after all, we've only known eachother for 2 months and have been seeing one another for about six weeks. AND, all of those six weeks are long distance.

So, I was surprised to receive a google calendar via email yesterday. It is our shared calendar, presented to me by my new man. I'm happy, but also a bit nervous. It details our weekends together (and which weekends we are apart) through October 30. It's not even July 30. That is 3 month out… which is a longer time than we've even known one another! Is this great news, or is this guy overzealous and kind of insane? Plus, as we haven't discussed any type of eventual move, it seems absurd that we're now talking about trips away together and all kinds of events if this is going to be a permanently long distance thing. I don't deal well with uncertainty. What does this mean? Can I continue to keep my mouth shut? Or does our next meeting warrant the question from me "Do you see this going anywhere and if so, where?"

To make this morning more interesting, I saw Carlos on the street this morning on my way to work. We had the most brief non-conversation hello you've ever seen. He all but ignored me, and I think that if I hadn't made eye contact, the quick "hola, como estas?" would not even have happened. For about a millisecond, my heart dropped into my stomach. But, a millisecond later, I kept walking, head high, and no attached feelings. I'm cured!

Alternative land

The Canadian guy is really cool. And cute, well employed, interesting... but no spark... I normally don't believe on the no spark thing, but this time it happened to me. And I believe he felt (well, didn't feel) it too.

We had a great time, talked for more than 3 hours, went to 2 different bars and the open space party where we sat on the grass and ate french fries.

I guess it's the camping thing... I immediately tend to rule out guys that are slightly alternative, love camping and lived in India for college exchange. Why? Why do I like boring instead of adventurous?

Anyway, he already emailed me so we will keep our chitchat... never hurt talking to a cool guy.

In any case it was great having a date after all this time.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

Blind not-so-date

I was wondering if I should post this text because I'm afraid I'm about to face another fiasco and have to expose again how ridiculous I am around here.

But, that's the purpose of the blog, isn't it?

So, today I'm meeting the guy my friend introduced to me by email. We've been exchanging emails for a while and he seems cool - promised to draw a moustache for our rendez-vous tonight.

I've been wondering all day if I should go home and change, even though I'm wearing my cutest work outfit... I decided that the regular me always put a lot of effort into anything guy-related and nothing ever works, so I decided to go with the opposite me - like the "opposite George", from Seinfeld - and go straight from work (well, I might stop at the gym and take a shower), not buying anything new and not stressing about it.

Anyway, I'm just going to face it as it is, a new friend that just moved to Switzerland (and who hopefully will find me cute, I will find him interesting and we will live happy ever after - sorry, can't help it...).

Bisous
Anne