All Grown Up...

So I've been a bit MIA. Part of that is because I've spent most weekends lately with the Midwesterner. He comes to visit all the time, and we've been out in the Hamptons a bunch. Yes, sounds swanky. Yes, the house is gorgeous. We really just sit around the pool drinking beers with a bunch of couples though. One of them even has KIDS! So, as you can see, I don't have tons of great material.

Except that last weekend I started getting nonstop texts and phone calls from none other than my long time Latin flame from back at the beginning of the blog. It's like the neverending story with the two of us. Except the mini endings don't have any relation to fairy tales. So, after lots of hemming and hawing, I decided to go out with him tonight.

Until I didn't. Today at work I was on the fence all day about it. Pete (midwesterner) is around all the time. And he's a great catch: handsome, athletic, bright, interested in the same things that I am, and he really likes me. And it seems that he wants to be in a relationship. I decided that if I'm the almost 30 yr old who claims they are looking for love and commitment, what the HELL am I doing screwing up a possibly great thing?? I started thinking about my past. I, my friends, am the ex boyfriend Queen of the Universe. Trust me, the crown is ugly, jagged, and tarnished. I've messed up almost every relationship I've ever been in either with cheating, jealousy, storytelling, or mis-prioritizing. It is a sad history and I'm okay to joke about it, but not proud about the real backstories involved.

So, when my former rico suave called to decide on a dinner spot, I cancelled. (yes, I am aware that this is also rude - but less rude than letting him buy me dinner while I'm clearly dating someone else). Anyway, he was polite about it, but basically shrugged me off and said that over the past few weeks it's been obvious that I'm too busy to squeeze him into my schedule, so he'll see me whenever. Not exactly the closure I was looking for, but...

Now I'm happy that I've made this decision to focus on Pete. Things may get a little bit hairy now that the summer's over and real life in NY is about to begin. However, I can promise, I'm going to give an adult relationship a real shot. To be continued.

Lauren

Vacations, sweet vacations...

Finally it's time to head to the airport and fly back home for 10 days of pure and simple "nothing". No time, no stress, no nothing. Only the good somethings like friends, shopping, family, resting, nice restaurants... Love that sensation of running to the freedom world, when actually I'm just going to the airport still.

On the way, as usual, I am daydreaming of the potential nice and cute guys traveling to Latin America, or even somewhere else. Airports are just very charming and full of interesting stories, people, faces, situations. But, of course, there is the terrible detectors and passport controls. This time, I feel lucky. Gorgeous man, very tall, "mannish" face, nice hair with a little grey initiating... but I am really feeling too good and a bit cocky, I must admit.

However, it's not like he turned left and went to Asia. No, no, of course, he made the exact same path I did, looking from time to time and, most importantly, no smiles. Only looks. And we wait, the plane is crowded, and not only the Handsome is going to the same direction, but the same flight. Oh, well, too nice for a vacation start. So nice I did not even bother that my little sit was next to an obese gentleman, occupying his sit and 1/3 of mine.

That thought only lasted 3 seconds... and the Fatty starts to talk. You know when we think how can people just be happy and talkative? How does that happen, my Lord!? From where do I live, if I like it here, or there, where had I lived and my answers were just "yes", "no", "here", "there" or just a yellow smile. I am tired, I want to go on vacations, I do not need Fatty bugging my trip home, talking and wanting to be friends??? Remember, my ego was up in the clouds, Handsome looking before, feeling great going away! There was something like "we can exchange emails and meet while you are in town now on the vacations!" Answer: yellow smile and already with my headphones on pretending to be listening to music.

Finally, I can watch a movie and simply ignore the annoying presence. I cannot sleep soon, so 2 movies in a row, I laugh, I cry and suddenly the Fatty tried to hold my hand. My God, on what grounds? I want to scream, ask for help! The person, occupying my seat, wanting my email, and suddenly trying to hold my hand? My God! Wake up! Look at the mirror and get a life! "Excuse me" removing my hand abruptly and ignoring any conversation sound.

I pull again the most possible distance, was almost kissing the window, and desiring that this flight finishes as soon as possible. No, I am not causing a scandal, asking to move places, making people uncomfortable on a flight! My God, what an inconvenient person! Not only he is using my sit, he is inconvenient!!! Sleep arrives... sweet, nice, comforting and quiet.

And... we are almost there! Breakfast is served, I don't even want to eat, continue with the earphones and very quiet until AGAIN I am disturbed by Fatty, and the "holding hand". He, for this time, apologizes for disturbing me before, I agree that he did but it was ok... and he tries to make me talk to him. "I think we could get to know each other better"... that only leaves me one option: "No. I already know you enough and I do not think there is anything else we need to know from each other!".

Good Lord, why does people do that to themselves?

Before leaving he comes with a little paper and asks "Your email?". I don't even look at him, get the paper and pen, write any name and email that pops on my mind and delivers back. Again, weak maybe, but I did not want any interaction or confrontation. Gone, "have a good life" and good bye.

...

But the flight adventure is not done! To enter the country there is the local customs line and the foreigners... and to my surprise, Handsome is right there, in front of me. On the locals. Perfect, not a local face, but a local person. Makes no difference to me after all, so Handsome. And there, on the line, again the looks. And looks. And while waiting for the baggage, the vacation started! A smile and a blink of an eye! All to me! we crossed again in the duty free, and another smile.

When I left the transition area, I was sure I had lost him. Gone. And there was my mom, poor her, 5:30am and she was there to pick me up. And I was looking for Handsome! I finally see him taking a coffee, I get ready to go there and wish him a good stay but , of course, with the company of my mom it was just not appropriate. Then I leave, with a last little look. Happy, feeling gorgeous and now definitely ready for vacations!!!

Kate

Back to the game

I know it's been too long and many things have happened in my life since last post but let's keep it brief: my "relationship" with Vitor is over. It's been 2 weeks, and I'm still devastated but trying to get back on track. I hate the idea of being back to the game. but I can't help it... so... I'm doing my best in order to see a bright side on almost every man. I still don't have much to tell you as of now but will do pretty soon. Or at least let's hope I do! hahaha
Sophia

Diversification?

I accepted Eli's invitation for a drink tonight. I don't really want to see him, I definitely don't want to make out with him, but thought that going out with him would be a good way to take focus off the kid I can't fall for.

Sometimes I feel like the key to risk management in real life is the same as in finance: diversification. I don't like it, I don't usually do it, but again, I'm not the most successful relationship investor around, am I? Hey, let's try something different, right?

So fine, I cleared my schedule (well, it was already clear, but still) and the damn guy doesn't contact me! What is this??? Can someone explain me that?

Dude, if you don't want to go out with me, don't ask me out, simple as that... you are the one getting in touch, not me! Am I the only one that think this is unacceptably rude??? Well, I can tell you that: no more cookies for him. I am not even going to bother answering the email he will probably send on Thursday.

Anyway, besides the focus off the kid strategy, I'm actually relieved. I am so tired that I just want to go home and watch Sex and the City DVDs, eat pre-made diet food and end the day with a bubble bath and self "inflicted"pedicure.

Who would imagine that "nothing to do" could actually be better than "going out with a douche"?

Bisous
Anne

Cougar Town

The kid texted me Friday night, around 9pm. I didn't have my phone with me so ended up replying only on Saturday. We agreed to meet. I was supposed to go to his house and pick up the earrings I "forgot" there (I know, oldest trick on the book). He told me I could stop by anytime after 8pm.

After a barbecue at a friend's house, around 9:30pm, I was really lazy... wanted to see the kid, but didn't want to cross town to do so, so I asked if there were any chances of a home delivery. He said something like: "yes, but I'm not sure when I can make it"... I kind of expected that, it happens to me all the time, I'm always the one willing to do the effort, so told him there was no problem, I would go to him.

Surprise, surprise, I have misunderstood it, he said it would be no problem coming to me, he just' wasn't sure how long it would take him since he is new in town. You probably won't understand it, but he got so many points for that. I explain: he was getting "some" anyway, I asked him to come over, but at the smallest sign of resistance, I told I would go to his house... but him, at the top of his 25 years old, was gentleman enough to come to see me.

The kid is adorable. We talked for a little while, fooled around for another while and slept with him holding me. So nice.

Normally my heart lives in my vagina. I can't help it, it just does. But this time I'm determined to change things around. I just want a f*ck buddy, that's it. I don't want another 3 month fairy tale "relationship". I want a kid to fool around with whenever I feel like it, to be completely emotionally detached while I look for the real deal - and an alternative so that I can behave if I meet someone with real potential.

I don't want to obsess if he is calling me or not, I want to feel free to call him whenever I want. I don't want to play hard to get. I just want to have fun and get back to practice. And to have someone besides Danish guy to run to when I need to spoon.

Anyway, so far, so good. I am not allowing myself to daydream about the kid, nor to make plans, nor to avoid making plans with other people just to keep my schedule opened for him. The only question is "how long can this last"... not the booty call "relationship", but my detachment. Will see.

Now I'm off to the gym... I need to get back into shape, start running, spinning... anything to make me fit enough to keep up with the kid. I really don't know how the 40 something year old cougars make it... 24 hours later, and I'm still dead.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

PS.: Eli asked me out again this week... haven't decided yet if I will go out with him. But even if I do, just the idea of kissing him turns my stomach. Not a good sign.

Eating with a spoon

There was a free open bar party (loved the concept, but still in almost not drinking mode, so just grabbed 2 or 3 small glasses of champagne) last Friday for the reopening of one of the coolest bars in town. The party was a well kept secret, so it wasn't crazy crowded but at the same time attracted the regulars from last fall.

Every time I go to such bar I, at the same time, fear and hope I will run into Danish guy. Didn't happen this time, instead, an adorable 25 year old German crossed my path.
After the party, my friends and I voted to go clubbing, the German kid decided to ditch his friends and tagged along. At the club we went to a still empty dance floor and slow danced to pop hits, completely out of the place's rhythm, totally into ours.

We kissed, made out like 25 years old do and engaged in a discussion on what would be a girl's goal in a night out. I mean, except for the "hang with my girlfriends or dance crap"...

I figured that are 3 alternatives, depending on the type of girl or the mood of the night:

1) Prince hunting: finding the man of the girl's dream is the ultimate goal;
2) Making out with a tall, young, handsome German (category I included myself into); or
3) Just as guys, get laid.

He was happy with my answer, but spent good part of the night trying to transfer me from category 2 to 3.

After the traditional discussion: "nothing else besides what is already happening will happen if I go to your place", I decided to join him for the night - to be honest, given my choice of underwear, I clearly had bad intentions even before leaving my house.

Truth to my world, we just continued making out, but I got the spooning as a bonus.

Next morning, before the walk of shame - thanking God I had an outfit that was also suitable for the day - he asked me if I wanted his number. I said no, but if he wanted mine that would be fine.

I gave the kid my number to immediately regret not taking his. I mean: this is definitely not a guy I would be interested in having a relationship with (otherwise, in our twisted world, I would probably not even have kissed him), far younger and newer to town than what I'm currently looking for... But, he would actually be the "perfect tool" to:

A) Avoid reaching out to Danish guy when nature calls (and, trust me, after almost 6 months, it is calling...); and
B) Keeping up the good behaviour with the guys I actually consider having a relationship with.

I know that's ridiculous (especially "B"), I would be the first one to criticize the concept, but I'm far too tired to keep on challenging the system. That's how things are...

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the kid is not going to call, which is perfectly fine, he served his purpose: sometimes, a girl just need to spoon.

Bisous
Anne

Full stop

The "taking it slow" reached a "full stop" point. The frequency of daily emails reduced and no more dates happened.

We actually tried to see each other, he asked me out, but I got really sick and ended up being away from social life - and from the country - for more than 2 weeks. My main theory is that he found another girl, maybe one more compatible with him.

On my end, I wish he had been cuter when he found out I was sick. Not that we were in a stage of the "relationship" that it would be expected for him to worry and take care of me, not that I would even allow him to see me (trust me, I looked awful), but he could have been more attentive.

To sum up, I guess we both realized we are 2 great people, but just not too great for each other. I hope eventually we become friends (and maybe he could introduce me to some other cuties).

Besides the "Eli end of story", I ended up going out with this Swiss - VERY Swiss - guy yesterday. I met him in February and since then we've been talking - texting - about meeting up for a drink. I know, it's ridiculous taking 6 months to set up a simple date. I take my share of responsibility, the guy once asked me out a month in advance the proposed date... being Latina, I could not take that seriously so just replied with a "call me next month".

Finally, 10 days ago (VERY Swiss), we agreed on meeting yesterday. I had very low expectations - really, 6 months to set up a date??? If he is Mr. Right, we will be getting married by the time we are 80 in this rhythm! - but when he showed up I realised he was waaaayyyy more handsome than what I remembered: tall, light blond hair, blue eyes, glasses, adorable nerdy face. A perfect Anne's boy.

We started the date at 6:30pm (did I mention he is VERY Swiss?!), had some wine (just one glass for me, since I'm still not fully recovered), talked non-stop. No awkward moments. At some point he suggested meeting up so he could help me with my German, which I took as an indication of him wanting to see me again in the future.

We said goodbye around 10pm , kiss on the cheek (VERY Swiss) and "we keep in touch" (which I - and probably all of you too - hate). But he added that we should meet up again after my vacation in September (...) or maybe before (I guess he could see in my face that the "keep in touch" and "see you in a month" were not crowed pleaser).

Anyway, this one is actually better in person than on paper, but something tells me I should not hold my breath waiting for him to set up date#2... Good dating practice though.

Bisous
Anne

My weekend outside NY. Way outside of NY

I got on a flight out to Pittsburgh to meet the new beaus' colleagues, parents and friends. The beginning was a disaster. My flight was packed ans I arrived to an awkward welcome. It had been three weeks since we'd seen each other and between the cheap square toe shoe and nervous laugh he had. Our first few hours were awful, and he claimed that all of the jittery energy had something to do with 3 cups of late afternoon coffee. Yeah right.



The company party went off well and the awkwardness wore off. I think it was a combination of cocktails, good food, and my remembering what I liked about him.



Saturday was a significant improvement, and things got better every hour. Some time with the parents, friends from high school, neighbors... Met them all. And I was dressed to impress them all. Beach cover ups, gold sandals, jewelry changes,... I was the fanciest person in all of Pittsburgh! Ha. Isn't it a NY motto that overdressed is always better than underdressed?



Saturday night we barhopped and ended up at his parents house late. We decided that the best idea was to sleep together in his childhood room. I've never done that before. The morning was a bit awkward at breakfast with his mom, at least for me.



Oh, and the piece that I almost left out - the sex and the city nightmare - Sunday morning consisted of that on and off sleep. My stomach was killing me from drinking, junk food, and weekend without much bathroom privacy. You can guess the horrendous feeling when an unladylike noise escaped. We both pretended we were asleep. But I know we weren't. It was awful. How can that be forgotten? Not only does his mom think I'm a slut, he thinks I'm a pig!



Ayayay. At least he still seemed into me on Sunday during the day. We've got plans for 2 weeks from now.



Xx

Lauren

Taking it "slow"

Friday night: glued to my couch, watching friends and exchanging emails with Eli. He was living very far and it took me a while to answer about my plans for the night. He said he should have emailed me earlier, but now that he was already where the “wind makes the curve” - not so sure this phrasal verb makes sense in English :) – he was gonna have a relaxed night and rent a bad movie on itunes.

Saturday “morning” (well, I woke up at noon): Got an email from Eli asking me to lunch. Meet him (and his luggage, he was moving flats) and go to Japanese restaurant. Not sure it’s a date or 2 palls hanging out. Head to his new place to get the keys and leave some stuff, help him inspecting the apartment and already make plans for his balcony (can’t help but using the world “we” for “we need to buy a grill for the balcony”… blush when I realized I used the “w” word). Go for a coffee, talk a little bit about past relationships. From what I can see, he is a relationship guy and there are several ex-girlfriends, all seemed to be locked in the past and miles and miles away though. Good. Bought hand towels for the new house and walked him to where he takes the bus, very close to my house. No attempt to kiss me this time, but a promise to text me later with plans for the night.

Saturday night: Got a text while in the movies, told me he was gonna go out with the crew he went to dinner with, asked about my plans. Adapt his plans (and the crew’s plans) for my plans. Arrive to the place, I was with a bunch of people, he was with a bunch of people. Talked for a while but split. Texted some more and went home (he went clubbing).

Sunday morning: Wake up to “I’m sorry I couldn’t ditch the people I went to dinner with” and question about my plans for the day. Exchange a couple of emails, ask him to join my friends and I for brunch – my iphone played a trick on me and never delivered the email – didn’t hear from him for a couple of hours, got kind of pissed (good sign!). Get an answer to previous random email, don’t understand, go to sent items and realized the technical problem - yes, he sent me another email even though he thought I haven’t answered the last :)

Sunday afternoon: Agree to meet and go to the lake, but he has groceries (and milk…) so offer my fridge. He gets to my place and sits on the couch. We watched 2 ½ movies, some series and decide to eat. I cook some pasta, we watch a show about cars.

Sunday night: It’s time for him to leave, I’m convinced he wants to be my friend (sorry, no space in my life for another male friend, according to Jerome). I open the door, we are about to say goodbye. He kisses me. Such a good kiss, such a perfect first kiss. He asks me if he could see me this week. Sure he can.

You have no idea how different this is to me…. I’m used to instantly making out and falling in love at first sight. You have no idea how much I’m enjoying the taking it slow thing. Looking back – errr, to Thursday, maybe it’s not that slow… – I think it’s great I didn’t kiss him, because after spending 2 days together I fancy him much more.

I’m not in love (it may sounds weird, but normally I know immediately if I really like the guy) but I like him. And I can’t wait to see him again.

Bisous
Anne

Another almost

I went to a house warming party last night and Eli, the Canadian guy, was there. We chatted in the beginning, showed some familiarity due to our email exchange routine and than went to mingle. I caught him looking at me a couple of times.

I looked at him and mentioned to another friend what an idiot I was for not fancying him. She promptly agreed. I looked a little more and decided he was really cute and I should give it a shot. We talked in several small occasions during the night and at some point he sat by my side.

He is a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong, I am, at the moment, for the past 3 weeks and for the next 2 weeks a vegetarian as well. But that's it. And call me old fashioned, but I'm a girl, I'm allowed to be a vegetarian to lose weight, but he is a guy and guys eat meat. Guys love meat.

I - prayed and - asked if that was because he felt bad about the animals (God no, please please please no) and he told me it was just because processed and industrialized meat was unhealthy... I'm not sure if this is better or worst than feeling bad for the animals.

I know, this is extreme prejudice from my side. But it is one more point to add to his kind of feminine features... don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he is gay (even though he might) or anything, but he is just not masculine enough for me.

We both left the party at the same time and my house was on his way to getting the train, when I stopped at my doorsteps he came to say good bye, ready for a kiss. I could feel his hand in my lower back bringing me closer and his face close to mine trying to stop the freak 3 kisses on the cheek show they have in Switzerland.

Even though I really - REALLY - need a kiss (last one was Danish guy, more than 2 months ago...), I kept with the 3 kisses on the cheek and practically ran into my house. He looked puzzled. As I sat on my couch I started asking myself why I didn’t kiss him. And I guess the answer is up on this post... I'm just an idiot when it comes to guys.

Anyway, for what is worth, it was nice feeling wanted by a cute guy.

Let's see, maybe a kiss changes everything and I found a vegetarian partner that likes camping and lived in India... yeah, right.

Bisous
Anne - and I don't know why I'm still single... pfffff...

And the disaster comes....

I already knew I should have postponed the date of yesterday. After the great weekend, and the mindset of this being only a dating status, I felt it was too much to have a date right on Wednesday (specially since we had casually met on Tuesday evening). It was too much in all senses, and specially because the program included DVD at my place.

Of course, while at dinner (great Japanese food) all was fine. We were outside, nice weather, nice talk, no gluing moments or "couple's" moments. As a fair agreement, since we have been dating for over one month, some dinners we split the cost. Honestly, perfectly fine for me as long as it's not all dinners. Paying time, I had some cash (not enough) and and so did he. Now, instead of dominating the bull and being in charge, he let me pay with the Maestro and now he owes me 25 bucks. That's the beginning of intimacy on an inexistent relationship.

I took a deep breath, and I knew that even though he had offered that we went to his place this time, it was common agreement to leave it to another day (it's really damn far away for me to go home afterwards). There, we start seeing the teenager boy German again.... We went home, and everyone who knows me a little, is fully aware I am not the perfect organized person. Simply not. The boxes on the hallway are to stay there, I am moving after all! It's part of the drill! but the person needs to enter the flat, and simply remove them of the way and put by the wall. As an action, I have no problem and then it comes the sentence "this is too much mess for my sense of organization".

Excuse me? You are a guest, at my place, on a date you invited (and I paid), and we are watching DVD on my place and you still change things around for the sake of your sense of organization.... Oh boy....

As polite as I can be, turned on the TV and the movie started. Of course that along the movie I came close. Who does not like a hug? And a little kiss from time to time? Well, the problem is that whenever he did something, was already irritating. After the movie I wanted him to leave. Just go home. Nothing more to do, or say. But no... the person was allocated in my couch as a donkey. All the signs to avoid the request of "I think you should go home now". Got to a point he simply turned the TV off, my TV, because he had a great idea to read Cosmo magazine and try to make me get out of my bad mood. Fine, the idea might have been decent, but he turned off the TV while I was watching!

Finally, he goes. Clearly very sad, telling things like "I bored you during this date", or "it's obvious you do not want to spend more time with me", or "I don't mind sleeping still a bit more late to be able to stay here with you a little more". Oh lord, can you be more cheeeeeesy?

This morning I sent a "hi" message just to be polite and we agreed (well, I informed) I still need time, less intimacy, less contact, more time, more me-myself-and-I.... At the end, he stated that it's clear that, and he is willing to give me all the time and space (my mind is already "willing to give me?" I do not need him to "give" me anything simply because he is not my anything! But I do control myself) and that he hopes that someday I'll let him in, even just a little bit.

I never had believed in the rebounds per say, but they to exist. I do not see myself letting him in, or opening up not even one inch. Good for the spirit, but I don't think I'll take more then that on this one... even though I promised to keep my heart and mind opened!

Xoxo
Kate

Calendar Girl

My midwestern man has had no type of conversation with me about our "relationship" and what it is or where it's going. In fact, there's been no mention of exclusivity or terminology. I'm happy to go with this flow for a little while, after all, we've only known eachother for 2 months and have been seeing one another for about six weeks. AND, all of those six weeks are long distance.

So, I was surprised to receive a google calendar via email yesterday. It is our shared calendar, presented to me by my new man. I'm happy, but also a bit nervous. It details our weekends together (and which weekends we are apart) through October 30. It's not even July 30. That is 3 month out… which is a longer time than we've even known one another! Is this great news, or is this guy overzealous and kind of insane? Plus, as we haven't discussed any type of eventual move, it seems absurd that we're now talking about trips away together and all kinds of events if this is going to be a permanently long distance thing. I don't deal well with uncertainty. What does this mean? Can I continue to keep my mouth shut? Or does our next meeting warrant the question from me "Do you see this going anywhere and if so, where?"

To make this morning more interesting, I saw Carlos on the street this morning on my way to work. We had the most brief non-conversation hello you've ever seen. He all but ignored me, and I think that if I hadn't made eye contact, the quick "hola, como estas?" would not even have happened. For about a millisecond, my heart dropped into my stomach. But, a millisecond later, I kept walking, head high, and no attached feelings. I'm cured!

Alternative land

The Canadian guy is really cool. And cute, well employed, interesting... but no spark... I normally don't believe on the no spark thing, but this time it happened to me. And I believe he felt (well, didn't feel) it too.

We had a great time, talked for more than 3 hours, went to 2 different bars and the open space party where we sat on the grass and ate french fries.

I guess it's the camping thing... I immediately tend to rule out guys that are slightly alternative, love camping and lived in India for college exchange. Why? Why do I like boring instead of adventurous?

Anyway, he already emailed me so we will keep our chitchat... never hurt talking to a cool guy.

In any case it was great having a date after all this time.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

Blind not-so-date

I was wondering if I should post this text because I'm afraid I'm about to face another fiasco and have to expose again how ridiculous I am around here.

But, that's the purpose of the blog, isn't it?

So, today I'm meeting the guy my friend introduced to me by email. We've been exchanging emails for a while and he seems cool - promised to draw a moustache for our rendez-vous tonight.

I've been wondering all day if I should go home and change, even though I'm wearing my cutest work outfit... I decided that the regular me always put a lot of effort into anything guy-related and nothing ever works, so I decided to go with the opposite me - like the "opposite George", from Seinfeld - and go straight from work (well, I might stop at the gym and take a shower), not buying anything new and not stressing about it.

Anyway, I'm just going to face it as it is, a new friend that just moved to Switzerland (and who hopefully will find me cute, I will find him interesting and we will live happy ever after - sorry, can't help it...).

Bisous
Anne

From Boy to Man

Step by step, must admit, but the German Boy is becoming a teenager with potential to be a man. Have done the inconsequent decision, already a few weeks ago, to go abroad on a weekend with him. I tend to do these things that are never good, only creates uncomfortable situations and can pretty much jeopardize my reputation. Travelling around with a person I do not know, who works and live at the same little village, having broke up only a few months ago a very public relationship… But, I do it because this is me. I like it, I feel relaxed and comfortable enough with the person for that, Really I do not recall the traditional rules to be followed.

So, there were we, he stayed overnight on Friday since the flight was really early on Saturday. Was really a proper decision, two teenagers making out and no further action but sleep. To my surprise, the wake up call was also not active (for me), since he had brought fresh fruits, yogurt and prepared breakfast for us. Yes, breakfast in bed and we were still not even travelling. On the way to the airport, I was still quiet (takes me a long time to really wake up) and the person was very active talking… Thank God I am polite and smiled to his comments, and at some point I did wake up and started to respond. Yet again, this was not an issue and was faced by him as a reality, "have to deal with it right" and respected a bit my quiet morning moment.

Arriving in Prague, I had decided to let him be the lead of the weekend. Was all his idea, his plans and he was the one who already knew the city. Needless to say, he was doing very well in leading and telling me the things, explaining places, where, why, what. We were in the centre of the city and entered this five stars hotel, classic, traditional, almost imperial. Oh wow! The room was not ready so we went to the Spa to change (it was bloody warm) and start the tourism! On my summery dress we walked what I thought was to be cultural first but no: he took me shopping. Yes ladies, not on the traditional luxury stores, but he actually spend time with me looking into local (and very special) jewellery makers, porcelain, clothes. It was a good team combination the day… we walked store by store, had laughs, stopped by for a sandwich, walked a bit more, returned to the hotel. The room was ready and…. It was not a room, it was a flat! A living room, walk in closet, huge bed! Definitely, feeling like a princess, we ended up sleeping a bit, and woke up only for dinner…

For dinner, we had agreed to go fancy. Bawl gown, suit, crystals, Jimmy Choos…. Indeed a classy, upper class restaurant and delicious food! Again, the talk, the interest in knowing me better, asking question, discussing opinions, laughing of the old ladies with strange hats on the next table, and the blonde prostitute with a transparent dress on the other table was the scene of a perfect evening. Almost 1:00 am we returned to the Hotel, and even though the plan was to go out an party, it was raining so much that we decided to stay in.

Sunday morning, "I want to go sightseeing"!!! C'mon, I am here, have done enough of romantic blabla yesterday. As you can see, woke up not on my best moments. I did not want to stay in bed, with kisses and hugs until 11:00 am… two hours less would have been enough and I could go and see castles, museums, historical places! I know, you are thinking I am crazy, have mental problems and should go to a psychiatric house. But then again, I am not going to be the Girlfriend anytime soon. I am definitely not ready, my mind still has some "special" moments, I cannot commit now. So, let's enjoy the time together not necessarily in the romance mode! Finally I managed to make my point without being rude. I was definitely happy then! Great company, insights, comments, tips, information, talks, walks.

And there, at some points of leading the way along the weekend, he is really teenager and even a man sometimes. Gentleman, caring, thoughtful. Still, drinks chocolate milk and not coffee, sometimes is like a schoolboy in puberty, can make jokes like Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey in their worse dumb movies… Maybe, I am still asking too much and creating problems (like thinking this is all for the sex, which I know can be a very stupid thought considering all the effort done). Maybe I just cannot see that he it many things that I appreciate… smart, intelligent, nice, gentle, carrying (I said that already), dedicated, ambitious, funny. Or is it all just me arming myself to hold on to this a bit more until the finalization of my last relationship is gone, cleared, passed and buried?

Promise I'll keep the mind and heart opened, as much as possible…..

Xoxo
Kate

The 2 month wait

I guess Bob Grant was right after all... just stay 2 months without contacting the guy you want to get back and he will contact you. Bingo. 2 months and a week after I sent last sms to Danish guy, I get a text (Saturday) asking if I was going to a festival that night. I waited for a while and just replied "not tonight, have fun" which got a "ok, fine" as a response.

I of course erased the number and this morning, I see another text, sent around 1am "hi, you up for a drink?". My question is: did he mean a) up at 1am on a Sunday for a drink (yeah right) or b) up in general for a drink?

Even though I really hope it is alternative b, I'm pretty sure it is alternative a, in which case, his sms will remain unanswered. He only treats me like a random girl he picked up at a bar because I let him, right? Well, than it's up to me not to be that girl anymore.

Anyway, I'm amazed that the book was so right and so precise with the time line...

On another end, I might have a blind date this week. A friend introduced me by email o this Canadian that just moved to Switzerland. We exchanged some emails about meeting on the weekend but we both ended up being busy, so he just sent me an email asking about this week.

Wouldn't it be great to tell Danish guy that I've met someone else and that actually being true???

Anyway, I'm amazed with the healing power of time.... Of course I still have feelings for Danish guy, but I really don't want to see him at any cost.

And you know the best part: I've lost more than 5kgs since the last time I saw him ;)

Have a great week!

Bisous
Anne

The arrogance turned into thoughtful actions

Well, well, after the very intense break up of my last relationship, I should be aware that it is needed some time alone. Not alone in the sofa, but simply alone for me to review the facts, reasons why I exploded after having the "perfect-life" situation. The reason why it all happened the way it happened is still being thought and developed in my mind. I definitely need to change and adjust myself a bit more when it comes to settling a relationship…. Then again, this is theme for another post!

Back to the focus: German Boy. You know when you think you saw enough or arrogant people, there is always room for improvements in your standards. Here I am, dating a guy that is not my physical favourite type (at all), a bit geek, extremely arrogant (based on the intelligence I guess), a bit too much self-assured, bossy… and still, I am enjoying!! It has been already more then one month, and through the time not only he demonstrated interest in me, in my stories, in my likes and dislikes, but also the listens.

I mentioned once that on a train ride around here there is a beautiful, fantastic view. Just that. Two days later, I receive a gift…. Not really wrapped, but very special: a picture he took himself of the city view from up a hill (or something like that). Beautiful! In a normal day, I would say it's a bit too much. I do not like, definitely not, too much of attention. Of course, the world needs to realize I am here, but for a guy, I like that he makes me still feel there is a world or friends, people, things to do that simply does not include me. And having that much of attention on the first week of dating (actually after the second official date) could be a bit over-doing. And it wasn't.

So, all that arrogance and talks on business that we have (of the professional ambition and analysis of our colleagues and bosses) simply disappear when he does those little thoughtful things!

You might remember (or maybe I did not tell) that I travelled to the UK some weekends ago. Being there I saw a book of the history of Valentino (yes, me love it!). It was definitely to heavy to carry back home, so I just mentioned and thought of buying at Amazon or so…. Yes, you know already the end of the story, I have the book and it was not me buying! Another very good catch, well thought gift. Killing the aspects of over-arrogant-geek to a very nice and pleasant thoughtful company!

Last but not least, the cheese! My thing is certainly not going to the mountains carrying a tent and sleeping over on a non-appropriate-place. But, the self confident German Boy thinks he is superman and loves doing this adventures! Good for him, as my friend would say, and this time, good for me! As a cheese lover, the last action of attention was a piece of fresh cheese, directly from the mountain's farm.

Just hope I can manage to keep myself on a good distance, simply to preserve all this to become The Rebound 2 (which actually is a movie that I simply loved)…

Xxx
Kate

Rejected, again.

Greg is right, always right. No matter how much we try to fool ourselves, he just always gets it. Today's post: if he is not asking you out, he is just not that in to you.

I ran into Beat yesterday at a street party and we (him, his friends, my friends and I) stayed kind of in the same place for the night. I wouldn't go so far as to say he completely ignored me because he is polite and we still got the WC finals to discuss, but that was it.

At some point, Jerome was tipsy and told the guy that he should stop looking at me (I didn’t see he looking at me at all) and go talk to me. Come on, how much more assurance do you need??? He responded with something vague like "not now".

Anyway, it wasn’t then, it wasn't after that either. At some point I went to the bathroom and when I was coming back I ran into him on his way to the toilette, we chatted for a few seconds, but no look, no cuteness, no spark (well, no spark for him). And we just went our separate ways.

Shortly after that, when he was coming back, he ran into his – ugly ugly – girl friends (one of which he spent a good amount of time talking to) that were leaving and left with them, not even a goodbye for us – for me.

To cheer me up, my friends kept telling me that the guy is just insecure. Come on, kids, he is 34, THIRTYFOUR, and not 12... and by 28 I think I can tell when a guy is interested and when he is not.

I'm kind of upset, feeling ugly and kicking myself for ruining everything with a great guy once more (flashback - the drunk making out episode). But at the same time, I've been rejected so many times I can quickly recover from that.

And I keep asking myself: will I ever be some guy's dream girl? Or will I always have to fight for them? I'm just exhausted.

Anne

Visit part deux

The midwesterner wanted to come back again last weekend. Since I'm genuinely interested and want to give this a chance, I said of course - although I'm concerned that so many hours straight is a recipe for disaster. However, it went off almost without a hitch. I have a short, NY temper (which I'm working on), so I had one or two moments on the verge of snapping. However, all in all, we got along great, had a ton of fun, and ended the weekend on Monday morning before work :). We already made plans for two weeks from now. I'm visiting him and attending a work party and meeting his parents. Intense?

I've all but forgotten about other guys and have lost interest completely in trying to keep up with my normally robust dating schedule. Is this a good sign, or am I jinxing myself and might I be kidding myself about a relationship with someone from another part of the country? I know it's only been six weeks and a few visits, but the last thing I want as I approach 30 is to be with a guy who isn't taking this seriously, because of the distance and our very different lifestyles. On the other hand, Anne always says that if two people fall in love, distance doesn't matter. And she can cite a million examples. But could I be one?

Xx

Lauren

Quiz

Who here is in favor of me emailing Beat to ask:

a) What did he think about the WC finals?; or
b) What did he think about the WC finals AND ask him out to lunch?

Who here thinks I should not email him but should keep the PP'10 by bugging Jerome to set up more group events?

Who here thinks I should stop bugging you with my PP'10? ;)