As I said before, you shouldn't expect a lot of action from me this week.... I am in my hometown where I lack appreciation for the native guys and they tend to reciprocate the feeling.
I went to dinner with my college friends a couple of days ago. They are either married or soon to be married. After discussions about furniture for the newly wed ones, my life was put on the spot and one of the soon-to-bes asked me if I gave up on getting married. Well, I told an anecdote on how I manage to carry a fridge by myself in my Bern house and basically said that my only chance was if someone - i.e. a guy - blames my self sabotage bullshit on "cultural differences". Ended the night feeling like shit and woke up the following day questioning my life again. And, of course, missing the Danish guy. Thanks, soon to be, looking forward to seeing you again :P
The next day I went to dinner with another newly wed and a living-together friend. The "LT" asked me if I had found a boyfriend in Bern already... now I ask you: in an all girls dinner, if I had a new boyfriend, wouldn't I have mentioned that?!?!?! What is the point of asking your only single friend if she found a boyfriend???
Anyway, that's one - well, THE - of the reasons why I don't like - hate - coming back to my hometown... everybody here is in a committed relationship and pays an extra interest in inquiring me why am I not and if I will ever be.
To add up to that, I was in msn (very unusual for me) and the guy - Leleu - that broke my heart and pratically was the reason why I decided I had to leave the country (ok, now I know it was the best decision of my life), started talking to me and ask about my "swiss fans".
A small flashback on Leleu: he had a girlfriend in the countryside, he was dating me here (yes, I knew about the girlfriend, throw the first rock...) ... WOW... EMERGENCY PAUSE...
JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM DANISH GUY.... asking me if I was in Bern this weekend and asking for my phone again... ok, ok, breath in, breath out... it's 3 am in Bern... but I don't really care, he never drunk dilled or emailed me before, maybe he just misses me too (I know, I know...).
I will get back to the Leleu story later, just fwd the Danish email to Lauren and am on msn with Sophia - who already advised me to only answer it once I get back to Bern.
Can't wait for Thursday :)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Anne + Danish guy...
I've been keeping something from you... but having read Lauren's last post on how she is (we are) almost 30 and keep behaving like 22 when it comes to guys, I felt like it was my duty as a friend to try making her feel better - again using the principle that "you are not the only one".
Back to my secret.... I went back to emailing Danish guy (my Prince). Nothing major happened besides he answering one of the emails on the same day (and not a week after) I sent it. Of course when I responded (not promptly, could make it to the next day), nothing came in return (so far...).
Anyway... why is it so difficult for me to get over Danish guy and for Lauren to give up on Carlos? Well, they are perfect. I mean, the personification of our respective dream man. And it is just too hard giving up hopes when you finally found the guy that is everything you ever dreamed of.
I just got out the phone with Lauren and we also reached the conclusion that having one another as friends is also not that helpful, since whenever one of us does something ridiculous, the other has done the same (or worst) in several different situations!!! I think we might need to add someone normal to our close circle of friends... :)
As for Sophia, apparently she is having one of her silence strikes... I am kind of worried since whenever she gets like that it's because she is really sad or overwhelmed. I can't really share with you what is going on in her life (not that I would anyway) because the strike is also applicable to us. Anyway, dear friend, hope you feel better soon and give us some blog juice!
One last thing, I am on a business trip for the next week and a half to a place where I am very ugly and undesirable (unlike in Bern, thank good), so I wouldn't expect anything interesting going on with my life until I go back home (yeah, Bern is home!!!) - well, unless I get some email action with Danish boy.
Bisous
Anne
Back to my secret.... I went back to emailing Danish guy (my Prince). Nothing major happened besides he answering one of the emails on the same day (and not a week after) I sent it. Of course when I responded (not promptly, could make it to the next day), nothing came in return (so far...).
Anyway... why is it so difficult for me to get over Danish guy and for Lauren to give up on Carlos? Well, they are perfect. I mean, the personification of our respective dream man. And it is just too hard giving up hopes when you finally found the guy that is everything you ever dreamed of.
I just got out the phone with Lauren and we also reached the conclusion that having one another as friends is also not that helpful, since whenever one of us does something ridiculous, the other has done the same (or worst) in several different situations!!! I think we might need to add someone normal to our close circle of friends... :)
As for Sophia, apparently she is having one of her silence strikes... I am kind of worried since whenever she gets like that it's because she is really sad or overwhelmed. I can't really share with you what is going on in her life (not that I would anyway) because the strike is also applicable to us. Anyway, dear friend, hope you feel better soon and give us some blog juice!
One last thing, I am on a business trip for the next week and a half to a place where I am very ugly and undesirable (unlike in Bern, thank good), so I wouldn't expect anything interesting going on with my life until I go back home (yeah, Bern is home!!!) - well, unless I get some email action with Danish boy.
Bisous
Anne
Lauren + Sunday Doldrums
Things always go worst on Saturday nights. Something goes wrong in my brain and allows me to act like a lunatic. That was all well and good at 22, but at 29 how is it that I'm still doing it? Nobody else seems to be! Last night was a friend's wedding. Basically my last friend from childhood getting married... and I was at the wedding stag. I wasn't even invited with a date. As though they knew that I wouldn't have one. It's a bit offensive, but I try not to take it personally. The wedding was a blast - I danced and drank champagne all night. After too many drinks, I came home and changed out of my pastel dress into a black sparkly jersey dress and sent a txt message to Carlos. Well, I actually responded to a txt message from Carlos - about 4 hours late. Well, I'll spare you the details, but I woke up at his house again this morning. Actually, this afternoon. Plus, when I look back through my texting history it makes me want to vomit. I just pray that guys never go through their texting history the way I do. If so, he has hard evidence that I am obsessed with seeing him - and I am terribly embarassed.
Now it's my typical Sunday, where I think about what I'm doing (and not doing) with my life. It's pretty depressing. While everyone else is in real and meaningful relationships, I go back and forth between laughing and crying over my sorry state of affairs. And looking at my recent call & text message history is making it much, much worse. Why isn't there a program on my iphone to prevent me from self destruction post cocktails? I think that a big glass of red wine coupled with some episodes of Sex In the City is my only possible solution.
Lauren
Now it's my typical Sunday, where I think about what I'm doing (and not doing) with my life. It's pretty depressing. While everyone else is in real and meaningful relationships, I go back and forth between laughing and crying over my sorry state of affairs. And looking at my recent call & text message history is making it much, much worse. Why isn't there a program on my iphone to prevent me from self destruction post cocktails? I think that a big glass of red wine coupled with some episodes of Sex In the City is my only possible solution.
Lauren
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Lauren + The Brit
On Friday night, I had a dinner date with an old flame. We've dated on two separate occasions and he's wonderful: tall, handsome, fun, well traveled, gainfully employed, and nice. How can you go wrong? Well, I can't tell if it's a cultural difference (he's English) or just him, but it never seems to me that we are in a real relationship that could be going somewhere. However, he's casually introduced me to his sister and some colleagues and when we're together, he treats me like his girlfriend. However, when we're not together, a few days can go by without a word, or just a text message, and all of our time together seems to be "dates", rather than just getting to know eachother doing the mundane things. Although, it seems he doesn't do any of the mundane things that I do (grocery shop, cook, clean, watch House)...
Anyway, we had a fabulous (and very over the top) dinner with wine, champagne, and steak. Later, we went to a trendy club in the Meatpacking to meet some friends of his. After some dancing and everyone refering to me as Simon's girlfriend, I went home. Alone. After all, I can keep several men in my speed dial, but I can't very well be sleeping at all of their apartments, right? I'm attempting to keep some small level of dignity. Anyway, since then he's been in touch and even asked me to a wedding - in Italy! - this summer. Now, I think that Simon would be a great boyfriend, if he just knew how to be a boyfriend. Do we think he likes me enough to take some direction on what it is that I would need and want in order to be in a relationship with him? I can't tell if he likes me enough and is simply ignorant to the fact that I need some more affection and to set firm ideas and boundaries about what our relationship is - or if he only likes me enough to date me casually. I'm contemplating just bringing it up. Keep in mind our Friday night date was the first time we've seen eachother in 6 months. However, he called me for my birthday, New Years, and Valentine's Day. Heck, I don't even think that Valentine's Day is the same day for Brits!
So, my new plan is to see him one or two more times and take a deep breath and lay it all on the line. Tell him that I like him and think we could have a meaningful relationship, but that I only want to continue seeing him if we are going to have an honest and meaningful relationship. I'll have to explain that I'm high maintenance about attention and, although I pretend I am very easy going and relaxed, I am neurotic about relationships. (probably part of why I'm a failure at them).
All the while, I'm still hedging my bets with a few other gentlemen. When I write this stuff down I begin to realize what a hypocrit I am. I hope that you can see it comes from a fear of being alone and not out of malintent. I also hope that none of these guys ever see our blog.
xx
Lauren
Anyway, we had a fabulous (and very over the top) dinner with wine, champagne, and steak. Later, we went to a trendy club in the Meatpacking to meet some friends of his. After some dancing and everyone refering to me as Simon's girlfriend, I went home. Alone. After all, I can keep several men in my speed dial, but I can't very well be sleeping at all of their apartments, right? I'm attempting to keep some small level of dignity. Anyway, since then he's been in touch and even asked me to a wedding - in Italy! - this summer. Now, I think that Simon would be a great boyfriend, if he just knew how to be a boyfriend. Do we think he likes me enough to take some direction on what it is that I would need and want in order to be in a relationship with him? I can't tell if he likes me enough and is simply ignorant to the fact that I need some more affection and to set firm ideas and boundaries about what our relationship is - or if he only likes me enough to date me casually. I'm contemplating just bringing it up. Keep in mind our Friday night date was the first time we've seen eachother in 6 months. However, he called me for my birthday, New Years, and Valentine's Day. Heck, I don't even think that Valentine's Day is the same day for Brits!
So, my new plan is to see him one or two more times and take a deep breath and lay it all on the line. Tell him that I like him and think we could have a meaningful relationship, but that I only want to continue seeing him if we are going to have an honest and meaningful relationship. I'll have to explain that I'm high maintenance about attention and, although I pretend I am very easy going and relaxed, I am neurotic about relationships. (probably part of why I'm a failure at them).
All the while, I'm still hedging my bets with a few other gentlemen. When I write this stuff down I begin to realize what a hypocrit I am. I hope that you can see it comes from a fear of being alone and not out of malintent. I also hope that none of these guys ever see our blog.
xx
Lauren
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Lauren + Marco
Well, another day, another cute bearded guy. I've also got a mini crush on a guy who is nothing like me. He's very academic, reads Tolstoy, loves to talk about philosophy and listens to what I consider "cool" music. By "cool", I mean things that sound great by bands I've never heard of and cannot be found on the radio. I am not a music buff by any means, and am often self conscious in front of these types. Anyway, Carlos hasn't called me today (obviously) and the writer whose name I don't know hasn't and will not call me (I mean, I wouldn't either. I'm a finance type that doesn't even know his name and he's creative and doesn't forget names). This combination leaves me thinking about my newest mini crush - he's a colleague of my roommate, Italian, and... of course... has a beard. Do you see a theme? Anyway, he apparently ASKED about me, which makes my interest multiply by 300%. My brilliant plan: ask my friend to send a group email inviting people (including he & I) to do something this weekend. I replied all, which gives him my contact information. Success! Marco responds just to me and we have a brief email conversation, where he says he'd love to get to know me better and that we should go to the movies. Nevermind how this is inherently contradictory: he wants to get to know me better, yet suggests we sit in a dark room full of other people in silence to watch a movie...? Is it just me who thinks that doesn't fit? Whatever, I'm in.Now that he's given me the "general" let's go out comment, do I just sit tight and wait? I know the answer: I wait (luckily I already know that I'll see him on Sunday evening at a barbecue). I'm assuming I'll be waiting several days, but hopefully I can add this one to my list of possibilities for summer romance!
Lauren
Lauren
Anne + Lunch time
Just ran into Cooper on the street, beginning to think he is following me (I wish...). I am going on a business trip this week, so he wished me a good trip, I wished him a nice (new) life. Will miss bumping into him.
Also ran into another very handsome guy I messed things up Beat style last year, will tell you about that some day.
I think I might need a twitter instead of a blog for my dating day to day in oh so small Basel.
Anne - in love with Basel
Also ran into another very handsome guy I messed things up Beat style last year, will tell you about that some day.
I think I might need a twitter instead of a blog for my dating day to day in oh so small Basel.
Anne - in love with Basel
Anne + Nobody...
Beat didn’t show up.
Cooper didn’t pay attention to me.
Beard guy (looked exactly like Dr. House) was too short.
Cake was good.
Note to self: never obsess about an event again.
Anne
Cooper didn’t pay attention to me.
Beard guy (looked exactly like Dr. House) was too short.
Cake was good.
Note to self: never obsess about an event again.
Anne
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Lauren + Carlos
Well, last night I was supposed to go running and cook dinner with an ex colleague, who happens to be tall, dark, handsome, and has seen me naked in two separate countries. I daydream that we'll grow old together on the beach in Panama (he's Panamanian), with little kids running around and tropical fruit every morning for breakfast. Unfortunately, he feeds this daydream by mentioning things about how we'll move down there together and open up a juice bar at the beach and live happily ever after in the sun. It makes me crazy... especially because after all of this great talk, his idea of us spending time together is normally a txt message at 10pm on a saturday night asking where I am for the evening. Not exactly boyfriend material. A little bit of background information: I've had a crush on him for 3 years, he is younger than I am, and I recently went away with him for the weekend to Mexico. I have absolutely no guts, or I'd just ask him what he thinks of me, what he's looking for, and see if I can deal with the answer. Since I don't think that I can deal with the answer, I leave well enough alone and spend time with him when I can and keep looking for the real life Mr Right.
Back to last night: he got stuck at work and it rained, so running together went down the drain. Instead, I went to the gym and met him at his place for a home cooked meal. We watched some tv and I stayed over, even though it meant an insanely difficult morning getting to work. It was worth it. Anything for the guy you have a crush on, right? He asked why I never call him or invite him to do things. Is he just feeding my crush and making things worse, or is he right? Am I unwittingly living in 1958 and missing out on great guys because I can't just take a deep breath and call them? I never call guys and never invite them to do anything. I'm terrified of the rejection. But I also figure, as learned in the 2008 classic "He's Just Not That Into You", if he wants to date me, he'll make it obvious and just ask me out. How can a girl get what she wants and be modern without being aggressive and scaring guys away? When I left in the morning, I didn't want to wake him up. I thought that was sweet of me - letting him sleep. He thought it was weird and sent me an email later that day asking why I ran out without saying Good Morning or Goodbye?? I can't seem to get it right with this guy. What I really need is to study the art of mind reading. Either that or forget about Carlos.
Lauren
Back to last night: he got stuck at work and it rained, so running together went down the drain. Instead, I went to the gym and met him at his place for a home cooked meal. We watched some tv and I stayed over, even though it meant an insanely difficult morning getting to work. It was worth it. Anything for the guy you have a crush on, right? He asked why I never call him or invite him to do things. Is he just feeding my crush and making things worse, or is he right? Am I unwittingly living in 1958 and missing out on great guys because I can't just take a deep breath and call them? I never call guys and never invite them to do anything. I'm terrified of the rejection. But I also figure, as learned in the 2008 classic "He's Just Not That Into You", if he wants to date me, he'll make it obvious and just ask me out. How can a girl get what she wants and be modern without being aggressive and scaring guys away? When I left in the morning, I didn't want to wake him up. I thought that was sweet of me - letting him sleep. He thought it was weird and sent me an email later that day asking why I ran out without saying Good Morning or Goodbye?? I can't seem to get it right with this guy. What I really need is to study the art of mind reading. Either that or forget about Carlos.
Lauren
Anne + Tim + Cooper (hummm...)
I’ve been receiving constant texts from my mobile phone company. Don’t they know what it can do to us??? A couple of seconds of hope to than sink our hearts, after reading “win summer vacations with Lebara”?
I am currently waiting (hoping) for a text from Tim (the 25 year old world traveler from my profile). After leaving Basel he went to work at a chalet in Germany and I just found out (by digging his facebook) he will be passing through here before his next stop. According to facebook too I am pretty sure he found another girl to say “I love you” to by now.
Anyway, I am very proud of myself for not having contacted him to ask if we could meet and say goodbye. I have 2 theories about my behavior: A) I am learning to have some pride; B) I don’t really see a future, so why ruin the memories with reality?
I wish it was alternative A, meaning I am evolving and becoming more mature, but unfortunately I am pretty sure it is B… like the type of quiz you have to choose the “less wrong” alternative. Hate those quizzes.
So today… spent lunch hour (trying to) shopping for something to wear tonight. Wanted to look sexy, but without seeming like I was trying too hard. No success. Have some back up at home though. Worst case scenario I don’t look hot, but at least casual and thin (I’ve been starving myself for the past few days).
My friend ran into Cooper yesterday, said he asked about me. Not sure he isn’t flirting with her too… no way of finding out either.
I am trying to lower my expectations for tonight. Every time I get really excited about an event it either turns out to be lame, with none of the RSVP prospects showing up, or I end up being ridiculous and waking up with major moral hangover.
Tonight will probably be the last night I see Cooper. I decided to engage in heavy, ultimate flirting with him and than see where does it (him) lead us. Not so sure what I want, besides wanting him to want me.
I also baked a cake. I am a very good cook, but took the risk of making a cake I’ve never made before. By now, I’m terrified that in a land full of prospects, I will mess up the catering. I fully rely on my cooking skills to nail a husband!!!
Wish me luck!
Bisous
Anne
Ps.: I just remembered Tim and Cooper are from the same country... Hummm, I think it's time to plan my next vacation... ;)
I am currently waiting (hoping) for a text from Tim (the 25 year old world traveler from my profile). After leaving Basel he went to work at a chalet in Germany and I just found out (by digging his facebook) he will be passing through here before his next stop. According to facebook too I am pretty sure he found another girl to say “I love you” to by now.
Anyway, I am very proud of myself for not having contacted him to ask if we could meet and say goodbye. I have 2 theories about my behavior: A) I am learning to have some pride; B) I don’t really see a future, so why ruin the memories with reality?
I wish it was alternative A, meaning I am evolving and becoming more mature, but unfortunately I am pretty sure it is B… like the type of quiz you have to choose the “less wrong” alternative. Hate those quizzes.
So today… spent lunch hour (trying to) shopping for something to wear tonight. Wanted to look sexy, but without seeming like I was trying too hard. No success. Have some back up at home though. Worst case scenario I don’t look hot, but at least casual and thin (I’ve been starving myself for the past few days).
My friend ran into Cooper yesterday, said he asked about me. Not sure he isn’t flirting with her too… no way of finding out either.
I am trying to lower my expectations for tonight. Every time I get really excited about an event it either turns out to be lame, with none of the RSVP prospects showing up, or I end up being ridiculous and waking up with major moral hangover.
Tonight will probably be the last night I see Cooper. I decided to engage in heavy, ultimate flirting with him and than see where does it (him) lead us. Not so sure what I want, besides wanting him to want me.
I also baked a cake. I am a very good cook, but took the risk of making a cake I’ve never made before. By now, I’m terrified that in a land full of prospects, I will mess up the catering. I fully rely on my cooking skills to nail a husband!!!
Wish me luck!
Bisous
Anne
Ps.: I just remembered Tim and Cooper are from the same country... Hummm, I think it's time to plan my next vacation... ;)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Anne+ I'm not ready
For the past couple of days I’ve been self analyzing (and joint analyzing with my male flatmate) my attitudes towards men and my self-sabotage tendencies.
Yesterday I reached the conclusion that I am not ready for a relationship, even thought I spread the word of being open and available for whatever comes.
To be honest, it’s not the relationship part I’m not ready to, but the broken heart one. I hate admitting it – because I’m always the first one to say it’s worthy getting burned if the experience made you happy (even if for a short time) – but I don’t think I can take starting something with a great guy, falling in love and… Being dumped again.
If not for any other reason, because I will probably be 32 years old by the time I recover from a break up that might (probably) take place 8 months from now (meeting Mr. Right + having him break up with me within 6 months).
On day to day disappointments I am a very fast recovery, but when it comes to the real thing, being let go by the man of my dreams, it can take me years to fully get over and move on.
So I concluded that that’s why I tend to push away and misbehave when I spot one of those great, nice, smart, cute future heartbreakers…
Oooorrrrr, I am just saying all this to justify the fact that I want to play with Cooper tomorrow, instead of focusing on any real possibilities (it sucks knowing myself this much, no surprises!).
Anyway, I already put Lauren on call. Tomorrow, around 10:30/11pm, she will call me to make sure I am behaving :)
Bisous
Anne
Yesterday I reached the conclusion that I am not ready for a relationship, even thought I spread the word of being open and available for whatever comes.
To be honest, it’s not the relationship part I’m not ready to, but the broken heart one. I hate admitting it – because I’m always the first one to say it’s worthy getting burned if the experience made you happy (even if for a short time) – but I don’t think I can take starting something with a great guy, falling in love and… Being dumped again.
If not for any other reason, because I will probably be 32 years old by the time I recover from a break up that might (probably) take place 8 months from now (meeting Mr. Right + having him break up with me within 6 months).
On day to day disappointments I am a very fast recovery, but when it comes to the real thing, being let go by the man of my dreams, it can take me years to fully get over and move on.
So I concluded that that’s why I tend to push away and misbehave when I spot one of those great, nice, smart, cute future heartbreakers…
Oooorrrrr, I am just saying all this to justify the fact that I want to play with Cooper tomorrow, instead of focusing on any real possibilities (it sucks knowing myself this much, no surprises!).
Anyway, I already put Lauren on call. Tomorrow, around 10:30/11pm, she will call me to make sure I am behaving :)
Bisous
Anne
Monday, April 19, 2010
Anne + Cooper
I love how small and concentrated Basel is! Went out for a quick bite and ran into Cooper. All set for later this week, he will be at the party. I am afraid I won’t be able to resist him.
He just changed jobs so he is not working until he moves… that of course triggered daydreaming from my side about taking a day off and spending it with him.
Good thing I am pretty sure I am not at risk of falling in love with him…. As you know by now, I like nice guys and non-conflict relationships and Cooper posses none of this core qualities.
Bad thing that, again, at a place with several cute, interesting and available single guys (apparently one of them has a beard so I will keep this one to you, Lauren), I am going to pick the “least likely of having a relationship with me” one.
No wonders I am single.
Bisous,
Anne
He just changed jobs so he is not working until he moves… that of course triggered daydreaming from my side about taking a day off and spending it with him.
Good thing I am pretty sure I am not at risk of falling in love with him…. As you know by now, I like nice guys and non-conflict relationships and Cooper posses none of this core qualities.
Bad thing that, again, at a place with several cute, interesting and available single guys (apparently one of them has a beard so I will keep this one to you, Lauren), I am going to pick the “least likely of having a relationship with me” one.
No wonders I am single.
Bisous,
Anne
Lauren + nameless sexy writer
Another weekend in NYC - life in the fast lane. This is when I start to wonder if I'll ever grow up. And lie awake making a list of all of the bad behavior I will discontinue starting Monday. On Friday night I went to chris' house to rent a movie and order takeout. I met chris through a friend a few weeks ago on a blind date. His resume is perfect: cute, well educated, great job, nice guy, settled down, looking to meet a great girl. What's the catch? Well, it's twofold. He makes me yawn and he doesn't want to live in the ny area for long. I'm not sure which is a bigger deal for me. Boring or the fact that he hates ny. I'd understand if he were looking to move someplace intereting - hong kong, Sydney, Paris, but the decision seems to be driven by a longing for warmer weather and a bigger house. Did I mention this guy is only 29!? What do you need a big house in the suburbs for at 29? Unless he has a family of five that I don't know about. Anyway, of course he likes me. Everyone that I want to date is disinterested. Everyone who does want to date me is basically void of excitement and curiosity. But makes loads of dough at a fancy hedge fund. It poses quite a dilemma for me. Well, today we met for a beer and I decided that ive got to stop seeing him and clear my schedule for guys that could have a future with me.
It's hard for me to find those kind. I imagine that it's tough for any normal guy to take me seriously. Picture this: after 8 hours of mimosas and wine at one of the dangerous NYC establishments that provides unlimited cheap champagne at brunch, I head downtown with two single girlfriends. We shouldn't have even been allowed IN a bar at that point. I meet a guido looking guy in a very tight black t shirt who asks for my digits. I oblige. Heck, everyone eserves a chance, right? We move on to bar number two where I spot a guy with a beard. This seems too good to be true. I love beards and it adds instant sex appeal for me. None of the fancy groomed stuff - I'm talking full lumberjack beard. Love them. I not so coyly meet, talk to, and kiss (yes, at the bar) the beard guy. At this point my memory fades to grey and I wake up (yes alone) at noon with a raging headache. However, I've got a txt from the beard guy and we make plan to have dinner. Tonight. With a raging hangover and lack of memories, I have dinner with him. Turns out he's a writer: he's also funny, tall, interesting, smart, and sexy. He took me to the diner!!! Not your typical hedge fund Nyer, oh, AND he put up with my shenanigans last night. He's either awesome or an alcoholic. He walked me home and no real kiss. Just the cheek. Get this, i Dont need to make up an alias. I don't know his name!! I can't remember from last night and he didn't say it in his texts. It was too late at dinner to admit the problem, so I just avoided needing to use his name. I'm not sure if he noticed. I feel awful and I actually like him! How can I find out his name? Will he call? Was he interested? Could I date and get along with the smart, alternative, struggling writer that lives in queens? Or was thinking about this a waste of my time? Or maybe - just maybe - this is exactly the type I should be dating and it never works out because I'm always with the yuppy finance type... I'll keep you posted.
Lauren
It's hard for me to find those kind. I imagine that it's tough for any normal guy to take me seriously. Picture this: after 8 hours of mimosas and wine at one of the dangerous NYC establishments that provides unlimited cheap champagne at brunch, I head downtown with two single girlfriends. We shouldn't have even been allowed IN a bar at that point. I meet a guido looking guy in a very tight black t shirt who asks for my digits. I oblige. Heck, everyone eserves a chance, right? We move on to bar number two where I spot a guy with a beard. This seems too good to be true. I love beards and it adds instant sex appeal for me. None of the fancy groomed stuff - I'm talking full lumberjack beard. Love them. I not so coyly meet, talk to, and kiss (yes, at the bar) the beard guy. At this point my memory fades to grey and I wake up (yes alone) at noon with a raging headache. However, I've got a txt from the beard guy and we make plan to have dinner. Tonight. With a raging hangover and lack of memories, I have dinner with him. Turns out he's a writer: he's also funny, tall, interesting, smart, and sexy. He took me to the diner!!! Not your typical hedge fund Nyer, oh, AND he put up with my shenanigans last night. He's either awesome or an alcoholic. He walked me home and no real kiss. Just the cheek. Get this, i Dont need to make up an alias. I don't know his name!! I can't remember from last night and he didn't say it in his texts. It was too late at dinner to admit the problem, so I just avoided needing to use his name. I'm not sure if he noticed. I feel awful and I actually like him! How can I find out his name? Will he call? Was he interested? Could I date and get along with the smart, alternative, struggling writer that lives in queens? Or was thinking about this a waste of my time? Or maybe - just maybe - this is exactly the type I should be dating and it never works out because I'm always with the yuppy finance type... I'll keep you posted.
Lauren
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Sophia + the internet
Hello everyone! I know that I should be talking about relationships and dates on this blog, specially on my very first post but I'm afraid that this won't start the right way.
I'm here to share with you my panic: I've been with no internet for 5 days!!!! If you knew me well you would understand how I'm feeling! The first I do when I get home or wake up is to turn my computer on! I can't describe how my w-end was without checking and updating my facebook! At least I have my blackberry! But even the bberry was playing on me: It's internet explorer is not working!! So I had to fullfill me with emails and chating on bbm.
Ok, now what does it have to do with dating and relationships? Everything!!! Internet is a way to avoid AND relief my anxiety cause by guys. Without it I spent even more time thinking over my failures and dreaming about things I should NOT! My weekend turned out to be terrible! I'm overwelmed with my own thoughts!
At least I'm going to take vacation in 3 weeks so that's something else I can be obsessed about. But the thing is: I've always used travelling as an excused to run away from my problems, and of course, those have always been maily related to guys! I have promissed me that I wouldn't use travelling as a runaway gate anymore, since when you come back your problems are all waiting for you and you need to face them again. Ok, ok, vacation is great to at least cheer you up but it doesn't solve anything.
Sophia!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Lauren + Joe
So today I met the man of my dreams. Ok, I've said that before, but everytime it happens it renews my hope that I will meet someone great and someday all of the bridal & baby showers, bachelorette parties, dateless weddings, cake tastings, etc that Ive attended with a big smile will be repaid. It will be my turn.
Unfortunately, up until now, I haven't quite figured which guys should not even enter my radar. Case in point:
I'm not desperate to leave my job (yet), but I am looking. I found a great opening in another building with another division and sent my resume. I was informed that I was probably too junior, but that they'd entertain meeting with me. I was afraid that the interviewer would be tall, successful, and cute based on his voice. I was right.
Before I knocked on the office door, I took a quick glimpse through the glass and knew I was developing a major crush. Not ideal pre interview... But cest la vie. We spoke for twenty minutes and then had lunch together. Just sandwiches, but I was already contemplating how to bridge work to social conversation... Success. He KNOWS
Sophia!! How is the world possibly this small? I couldn't even
think about conversation, my head was racing back to how this was the perfect way for me to get some background info on him and move forward to project Make Out With Joe. It was already obvious that I was grossly underqualified for the job.
On my way back to my office, I was already frantically emailing Sophia to get any advice I could. Her response was a big "hahahaha". Not a good sign. Apparently this guy, who is handsome, successful, interesting, and although he is not tall, has nice shoes.... Went out with my friend. In fact, they spent a lot if time together. Mostly in groups, but also on their own. She also found him dreamy and spent hours planning their future - which never came. Heck, not even a kiss came of all of this time together. If she weren't attractive and fun, maybe I wouldn't be concerned. But she is. And I know lots of guys that think she is. So when she told me that she's pretty sure he's gay, my enthusiasm sunk into the pit of my stomach. Now what? Do I bother trying to flirt with him, possibly making an ass of myself on two fronts?? We are colleagues and he may be gay. Do I blur all lines and throw myself out there? I mean, life is about taking chances, but is this just self esteem mutilation? I want to somehow be sure... Sure that he won't give me a chance. What Ive realize the last few years is that I've got nothing to lose being a bit more forward. However, this is a bit of an exception. Plus, I've gone down the work path of men countless times. I once invented a business need to meet alone with a sales specialist, we briefly dated. Another time, I kissed a guy on a business trip. We ended up going away together for a weekend. The stories go on. All entertaining but none a good idea in hindsight . However, will I ever learn? I'm still Brainstorming a good way to see Joe again!
Cross your fingers that I sleep off some of this crush and don't wake up still high on daydreams about Joe.
Lauren
Unfortunately, up until now, I haven't quite figured which guys should not even enter my radar. Case in point:
I'm not desperate to leave my job (yet), but I am looking. I found a great opening in another building with another division and sent my resume. I was informed that I was probably too junior, but that they'd entertain meeting with me. I was afraid that the interviewer would be tall, successful, and cute based on his voice. I was right.
Before I knocked on the office door, I took a quick glimpse through the glass and knew I was developing a major crush. Not ideal pre interview... But cest la vie. We spoke for twenty minutes and then had lunch together. Just sandwiches, but I was already contemplating how to bridge work to social conversation... Success. He KNOWS
Sophia!! How is the world possibly this small? I couldn't even
think about conversation, my head was racing back to how this was the perfect way for me to get some background info on him and move forward to project Make Out With Joe. It was already obvious that I was grossly underqualified for the job.
On my way back to my office, I was already frantically emailing Sophia to get any advice I could. Her response was a big "hahahaha". Not a good sign. Apparently this guy, who is handsome, successful, interesting, and although he is not tall, has nice shoes.... Went out with my friend. In fact, they spent a lot if time together. Mostly in groups, but also on their own. She also found him dreamy and spent hours planning their future - which never came. Heck, not even a kiss came of all of this time together. If she weren't attractive and fun, maybe I wouldn't be concerned. But she is. And I know lots of guys that think she is. So when she told me that she's pretty sure he's gay, my enthusiasm sunk into the pit of my stomach. Now what? Do I bother trying to flirt with him, possibly making an ass of myself on two fronts?? We are colleagues and he may be gay. Do I blur all lines and throw myself out there? I mean, life is about taking chances, but is this just self esteem mutilation? I want to somehow be sure... Sure that he won't give me a chance. What Ive realize the last few years is that I've got nothing to lose being a bit more forward. However, this is a bit of an exception. Plus, I've gone down the work path of men countless times. I once invented a business need to meet alone with a sales specialist, we briefly dated. Another time, I kissed a guy on a business trip. We ended up going away together for a weekend. The stories go on. All entertaining but none a good idea in hindsight . However, will I ever learn? I'm still Brainstorming a good way to see Joe again!
Cross your fingers that I sleep off some of this crush and don't wake up still high on daydreams about Joe.
Lauren
Anne + Cooper
I’ve met Cooper a couple of months ago. As annoying as good looking… you know the type, don’t you? The one you can’t really stand but at the same time is extremely attracted to.
I ran into him at my favorite bar yesterday, he was with a girl (not so sure it was a date, he is currently in a long distance relationship with a girl 12 years younger). He stopped to say hi during the night and after the girl left offered my friend and I a drink.
The past two times we've met, the conversation always led to heated discussions about (my) career. If you knew me a little bit more you would know I HATE discussing and arguing with people. And Cooper seems to feed on it.
Yesterday, however, he was kinder and, oh, very hot. We had the normal career talk, he told me he is moving out of Switzerland and we engaged on heavy flirting.
I managed to be strong and just had a couple of drinks with him and my friend before leaving. If she hasn’t stayed with us, I am not sure what could have happened last night – well, to be honest, I pretty much am ;-)
Next week I have a party where I will probably see him and Beat again, as well as 2 other eligible bachelors my friend wants to introduce me to… I can only assure you that something ridiculous will happen. What will it be remains to be seen...
Have a great weekend!
Bisous
Anne
I ran into him at my favorite bar yesterday, he was with a girl (not so sure it was a date, he is currently in a long distance relationship with a girl 12 years younger). He stopped to say hi during the night and after the girl left offered my friend and I a drink.
The past two times we've met, the conversation always led to heated discussions about (my) career. If you knew me a little bit more you would know I HATE discussing and arguing with people. And Cooper seems to feed on it.
Yesterday, however, he was kinder and, oh, very hot. We had the normal career talk, he told me he is moving out of Switzerland and we engaged on heavy flirting.
I managed to be strong and just had a couple of drinks with him and my friend before leaving. If she hasn’t stayed with us, I am not sure what could have happened last night – well, to be honest, I pretty much am ;-)
Next week I have a party where I will probably see him and Beat again, as well as 2 other eligible bachelors my friend wants to introduce me to… I can only assure you that something ridiculous will happen. What will it be remains to be seen...
Have a great weekend!
Bisous
Anne
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Anne + Danish Prince
What a surprise, an email did pop into my inbox…. not from Beat, but from Prince, my Nordic ex-boyfriend (he is my ex-boyfriend, but that does not mean I am his ex-girlfriend).
Let me tell you a little bit more about Prince and me:
I met him more than a year ago, before I moved to Switzerland, when we were spending a holiday in Thailand. Even though my friends strongly disagree, I think he is one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever seen. After amazing 3 days together (one of which put me out of Ikea furniture for ever) he had to leave and I had the feeling that that was it and, trust me, I was ok with that.
It wasn’t it… he called me from a business trip to Croatia, sent me the most beautiful emails I’ve ever seen and soon I was completely in love, sure that I finally found my prince.
He lived in Basel, I didn’t, but I always liked long distance relationships (call me weirdo). To make a long story short, we emailed, texted or talked everyday, I visited him a couple of times (not that wise, was it?), I’ve never been happier in my entire life… and than he started to disappear (don’t they all?), be distant and avoid replying about a third visit. At some point I finally broke and asked what was going on… he told me he liked me, I was great, but we were just digging a hole, the longer we kept it going, the more hurtful it would be when it ended, he was not a risk taker, I was not Danish…
And than, the day came for me to move to Switzerland, I’ve received an irrefutable job offer. I told him I was coming; he answered me, but avoided commenting on the fact we were going to be in the same city – if only you could see his emails… he managed to write me lines and lines on how his dog learned how to jump on 2 feet and not say a world about me moving.
Finally, one day, since Basel is like a little village, I ran into him… and…. He CROSSED THE STREET!!!…. I was devastated. Cried a little more, consulted with friends, and decided to send him an email, telling him I saw him, he saw me, we should be civilized and that I was over him (yeah, right). He answered (he always does) telling me about his weekend. Not a world about the incident.
I decided that was it…
Do you think that was it? Would I be telling you all this if the story ended here???
Around Thanksgiving time (dammed festive dates) I remembered I wanted a book I left with him back then, and, tah-dah, an email was sent, with the polite request of the mailing of the book. He answered and asked if we could meet instead.
OF COURSE WE COULD MEET, why else did I send the email?!?! How important can a book be???
We met and let’s just say, it wasn’t a good idea.
We met again a couple of months later and, surprise surprise, it wasn’t a good idea again.
A month after that, I sent him an(other) email… he answered… today, a week after I sent it, saying he had to go to the hospital because he cut his hand at work, no questions, no comments, just that…
And the worst part is that I can’t help but feeling a little happy that I got an answer. Don’t worry, no prompt replies from me for the time being… but I wouldn’t be surprised if, in a month or so, Emil shows up here again (I know, pathetic, but probably made you feel better about the way you badly handled a broken heart, didn’t it?).
See you tomorrow (hopefully something exciting will happen in the next 24 hours).
Bisous
Anne
Let me tell you a little bit more about Prince and me:
I met him more than a year ago, before I moved to Switzerland, when we were spending a holiday in Thailand. Even though my friends strongly disagree, I think he is one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever seen. After amazing 3 days together (one of which put me out of Ikea furniture for ever) he had to leave and I had the feeling that that was it and, trust me, I was ok with that.
It wasn’t it… he called me from a business trip to Croatia, sent me the most beautiful emails I’ve ever seen and soon I was completely in love, sure that I finally found my prince.
He lived in Basel, I didn’t, but I always liked long distance relationships (call me weirdo). To make a long story short, we emailed, texted or talked everyday, I visited him a couple of times (not that wise, was it?), I’ve never been happier in my entire life… and than he started to disappear (don’t they all?), be distant and avoid replying about a third visit. At some point I finally broke and asked what was going on… he told me he liked me, I was great, but we were just digging a hole, the longer we kept it going, the more hurtful it would be when it ended, he was not a risk taker, I was not Danish…
And than, the day came for me to move to Switzerland, I’ve received an irrefutable job offer. I told him I was coming; he answered me, but avoided commenting on the fact we were going to be in the same city – if only you could see his emails… he managed to write me lines and lines on how his dog learned how to jump on 2 feet and not say a world about me moving.
Finally, one day, since Basel is like a little village, I ran into him… and…. He CROSSED THE STREET!!!…. I was devastated. Cried a little more, consulted with friends, and decided to send him an email, telling him I saw him, he saw me, we should be civilized and that I was over him (yeah, right). He answered (he always does) telling me about his weekend. Not a world about the incident.
I decided that was it…
Do you think that was it? Would I be telling you all this if the story ended here???
Around Thanksgiving time (dammed festive dates) I remembered I wanted a book I left with him back then, and, tah-dah, an email was sent, with the polite request of the mailing of the book. He answered and asked if we could meet instead.
OF COURSE WE COULD MEET, why else did I send the email?!?! How important can a book be???
We met and let’s just say, it wasn’t a good idea.
We met again a couple of months later and, surprise surprise, it wasn’t a good idea again.
A month after that, I sent him an(other) email… he answered… today, a week after I sent it, saying he had to go to the hospital because he cut his hand at work, no questions, no comments, just that…
And the worst part is that I can’t help but feeling a little happy that I got an answer. Don’t worry, no prompt replies from me for the time being… but I wouldn’t be surprised if, in a month or so, Emil shows up here again (I know, pathetic, but probably made you feel better about the way you badly handled a broken heart, didn’t it?).
See you tomorrow (hopefully something exciting will happen in the next 24 hours).
Bisous
Anne
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Anne + Beat
Well, it happened again… I am secretly hoping soon an email/ text/ call will pop up and make my day.
Since I got to Switzerland I managed to be on more dates than I’ve ever been in my life, even though that might sound like good news, I’ve never kissed so little either and, I can tell you, there is nothing I like more than good kissing.
I am still learning how things work around here. It is the first time I am really going on dates. At the same time, here, the date itself has no implications, I’ve managed to go to at least 3 where there was no touching, no kissing, just talking.
Well the no kissing thing was about to change this weekend. I was going to a party with a friend and his absolutely cute, totally my type, been flirting for a while friend Beat. In my mind, that was it, he had to make a move (and I had to restrain my self not to make one – yes, that’s right, I’m a first mover, very very bad characteristic for a girl according to the countless relationship authors and to my track record as well) .
We connected greatly during the night, I let him explain me about cars, small talked about life and all those things that make you think “hum, should I get my hopes high?!”, but it was taking forever for him to finally kiss me...
Ah, did I mention we were drinking? And did I mention that at some point we changed from beer to wine? And did I say that I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but tagged along anyway?
Anyway, he finally kissed me (I hope he was the one that kissed me and not the other way around) and what an awesome kiss!!! After getting somehow involved with a couple of Europeans I thought I was going to have to give up on great kissing to get the great looks and personality most of them have… well, that night at least served to restore my hopes in finding the full package around here.
Than it was time to go and the warning signals started to show:
Warning signal number 1: No holding hands on the way back. What is with this 30 something year old guys that they are ok with kissing like maniacs in public but are not ready to hold your hand? Well, I managed to demand my duly deserved hand holding (probably my first mistake) and the love was back on the ride home.
Warning signal number 2: Before the kissing started, while we were all about great conversation and learning about each other, we talked about going to a car exhibition together in the following week. After the kissing, suddenly tickets were very hard to find, and people (well, he) might be busy on the upcoming days. I couldn’t hide my discontentment (second mistake and counting).
Warning signal number 3: No request for email or phone number!!! Well, this is not a warning, this is a clear signal that that was it. And I have to admit, I wasn’t used to that anymore… I am from a generation in which guys get your contact, even if they are not planning on using it… hard to decide which is worst.
We do have friends in common, it is easy to find me on facebook, there are millions ways he could get my contacts afterwards, but the fact he didn’t ask for it clearly shows that he is not willing to put some effort in finding it by alternative ways either. I can gladly say that, unlike the above mentioned warning signals, this one didn’t generate (so far) any mistakes from my side. I remember being on the cab and using all my strength and will power not to let my drunken mouth ask him to ask for my contacts. Uhu, point for me, I think I deserve at least a pat on the back for that.
To this point, the only things left to keep me going (how dramatic!) are:
1) be happy that I finally kissed someone else – than Prince, to be introduced - this year, and it was good, very good;
2) focus on the fact that I like nice guys and he wasn’t that nice. Just a quick observation here: I tend to forget that I have to like the guy too… I focus all my energy in suffering from the fact that a guy didn’t like me, even when I didn’t like him either… what is wrong with me?! (me? Us? Anyone?..).
3) Bering in mind that making out with someone in Basel is like kissing a guy from your high school or university, you will eventually run into him on the street. So maybe there is a chance we will run into each other (when I look astonish beautiful) and catch up a couple of weeks from now.
Anyway, back to the beginning of the email, OF COURSE I still have hopes he will get my email (I’m an email freak, that is by far my favorite method of communication with the opposite sex) and surprise me with an invitation for drinks (and I promise I will keep it up to 3 glasses, so I can remember all the details to tell you) or for something cooler, like a day trip to the mountains (well, a girl can dream).
But, by now, we all know that’s not going to happen, so…
…NEXT…
Bisous
Anne
Since I got to Switzerland I managed to be on more dates than I’ve ever been in my life, even though that might sound like good news, I’ve never kissed so little either and, I can tell you, there is nothing I like more than good kissing.
I am still learning how things work around here. It is the first time I am really going on dates. At the same time, here, the date itself has no implications, I’ve managed to go to at least 3 where there was no touching, no kissing, just talking.
Well the no kissing thing was about to change this weekend. I was going to a party with a friend and his absolutely cute, totally my type, been flirting for a while friend Beat. In my mind, that was it, he had to make a move (and I had to restrain my self not to make one – yes, that’s right, I’m a first mover, very very bad characteristic for a girl according to the countless relationship authors and to my track record as well) .
We connected greatly during the night, I let him explain me about cars, small talked about life and all those things that make you think “hum, should I get my hopes high?!”, but it was taking forever for him to finally kiss me...
Ah, did I mention we were drinking? And did I mention that at some point we changed from beer to wine? And did I say that I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but tagged along anyway?
Anyway, he finally kissed me (I hope he was the one that kissed me and not the other way around) and what an awesome kiss!!! After getting somehow involved with a couple of Europeans I thought I was going to have to give up on great kissing to get the great looks and personality most of them have… well, that night at least served to restore my hopes in finding the full package around here.
Than it was time to go and the warning signals started to show:
Warning signal number 1: No holding hands on the way back. What is with this 30 something year old guys that they are ok with kissing like maniacs in public but are not ready to hold your hand? Well, I managed to demand my duly deserved hand holding (probably my first mistake) and the love was back on the ride home.
Warning signal number 2: Before the kissing started, while we were all about great conversation and learning about each other, we talked about going to a car exhibition together in the following week. After the kissing, suddenly tickets were very hard to find, and people (well, he) might be busy on the upcoming days. I couldn’t hide my discontentment (second mistake and counting).
Warning signal number 3: No request for email or phone number!!! Well, this is not a warning, this is a clear signal that that was it. And I have to admit, I wasn’t used to that anymore… I am from a generation in which guys get your contact, even if they are not planning on using it… hard to decide which is worst.
We do have friends in common, it is easy to find me on facebook, there are millions ways he could get my contacts afterwards, but the fact he didn’t ask for it clearly shows that he is not willing to put some effort in finding it by alternative ways either. I can gladly say that, unlike the above mentioned warning signals, this one didn’t generate (so far) any mistakes from my side. I remember being on the cab and using all my strength and will power not to let my drunken mouth ask him to ask for my contacts. Uhu, point for me, I think I deserve at least a pat on the back for that.
To this point, the only things left to keep me going (how dramatic!) are:
1) be happy that I finally kissed someone else – than Prince, to be introduced - this year, and it was good, very good;
2) focus on the fact that I like nice guys and he wasn’t that nice. Just a quick observation here: I tend to forget that I have to like the guy too… I focus all my energy in suffering from the fact that a guy didn’t like me, even when I didn’t like him either… what is wrong with me?! (me? Us? Anyone?..).
3) Bering in mind that making out with someone in Basel is like kissing a guy from your high school or university, you will eventually run into him on the street. So maybe there is a chance we will run into each other (when I look astonish beautiful) and catch up a couple of weeks from now.
Anyway, back to the beginning of the email, OF COURSE I still have hopes he will get my email (I’m an email freak, that is by far my favorite method of communication with the opposite sex) and surprise me with an invitation for drinks (and I promise I will keep it up to 3 glasses, so I can remember all the details to tell you) or for something cooler, like a day trip to the mountains (well, a girl can dream).
But, by now, we all know that’s not going to happen, so…
…NEXT…
Bisous
Anne
Monday, April 12, 2010
How does dating work in your country?
3 beautiful, intelligent, successful, single women in 3 different countries USA, Switzerland and Brazil, try to find the answer to this question by sharing their day to day experiences in the pursue of love, fun and something to obsess about on boring days.
We hope you have fun and feel good about your self knowing that “no, you are not the only single girl out there”.
Xx, Bisous, Beijinhos.
Lauren, Anne, Sophia.
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