Well, I did end up running into a tall, cute guy at the bar yesterday. Guess who? Yep, Danish guy.
I can't believe how unlucky I am (well, Basel is indeed very small), once I decide to follow a strategy, I run into the guy... A year I’ve been living here and never ever that happened! And, of course, running into him means being late to work because I left his house at 8am.
He was so sweet with me - everytime I see him he is sweeter - and treats me so nice when we are together, I just can't get over him. He hugged me for ages this morning, a nice, long hug.
I am aware of how stupid of me was going home with him. I also know that it's time to stop kidding myself, I'm incapable of following a strategy with him. If he will like me (well, he likes me, just not enough), it will be because I like him too (and, don't worry, I'm not naive enough to believe this day will ever come).
Anyway, everytime I leave his house, I feel like asking him to call me or something, and I never do and end up regretting it. Today I did it. As I was about to leave, I told him that I love going to his house and spending the night with him, but everytime he doesn't contact me after, I feel like some girl he picked up at a bar. He looked down, made a "face" and said - more to himself than to me - "but you are not". He texted me just after I left his house, wishing me a good day. I don't think that counts, do you? He was just trying not to be the bad guy, don't you agree?
I don't really regret last night, because it was so amazing... better than it ever was... we – well, I - felt so connected and I felt soooo good by his side. The difficult part comes now, where I don't have him in my life, again.
He actually invited me to go see him run a marathon on Sunday, but I'm pretty sure he didn't mean it (his mother will be there). Maybe I will send "good luck" the night before and that's it.
If someone has a magic potion to make me forget him, please mail it to Bern... I know it may sound weird, but more than wanting to be with him, I just want to forget. Love is not supposed to be this hard, is it?
Well, it's a fact: one of us will have to move.
Anne - broken hearted, again... (I know, I have no one to blame but myself)
He just sent me an email. Nothing huge, just an article about something we discussed last night.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad, because the text really didn't count.
Keeping my fingers crossed that he mentions the marathon again.
Anne - a little bit better, but still without appetite (and I never lose my appetite...).