All Grown Up...

So I've been a bit MIA. Part of that is because I've spent most weekends lately with the Midwesterner. He comes to visit all the time, and we've been out in the Hamptons a bunch. Yes, sounds swanky. Yes, the house is gorgeous. We really just sit around the pool drinking beers with a bunch of couples though. One of them even has KIDS! So, as you can see, I don't have tons of great material.

Except that last weekend I started getting nonstop texts and phone calls from none other than my long time Latin flame from back at the beginning of the blog. It's like the neverending story with the two of us. Except the mini endings don't have any relation to fairy tales. So, after lots of hemming and hawing, I decided to go out with him tonight.

Until I didn't. Today at work I was on the fence all day about it. Pete (midwesterner) is around all the time. And he's a great catch: handsome, athletic, bright, interested in the same things that I am, and he really likes me. And it seems that he wants to be in a relationship. I decided that if I'm the almost 30 yr old who claims they are looking for love and commitment, what the HELL am I doing screwing up a possibly great thing?? I started thinking about my past. I, my friends, am the ex boyfriend Queen of the Universe. Trust me, the crown is ugly, jagged, and tarnished. I've messed up almost every relationship I've ever been in either with cheating, jealousy, storytelling, or mis-prioritizing. It is a sad history and I'm okay to joke about it, but not proud about the real backstories involved.

So, when my former rico suave called to decide on a dinner spot, I cancelled. (yes, I am aware that this is also rude - but less rude than letting him buy me dinner while I'm clearly dating someone else). Anyway, he was polite about it, but basically shrugged me off and said that over the past few weeks it's been obvious that I'm too busy to squeeze him into my schedule, so he'll see me whenever. Not exactly the closure I was looking for, but...

Now I'm happy that I've made this decision to focus on Pete. Things may get a little bit hairy now that the summer's over and real life in NY is about to begin. However, I can promise, I'm going to give an adult relationship a real shot. To be continued.

Lauren

Vacations, sweet vacations...

Finally it's time to head to the airport and fly back home for 10 days of pure and simple "nothing". No time, no stress, no nothing. Only the good somethings like friends, shopping, family, resting, nice restaurants... Love that sensation of running to the freedom world, when actually I'm just going to the airport still.

On the way, as usual, I am daydreaming of the potential nice and cute guys traveling to Latin America, or even somewhere else. Airports are just very charming and full of interesting stories, people, faces, situations. But, of course, there is the terrible detectors and passport controls. This time, I feel lucky. Gorgeous man, very tall, "mannish" face, nice hair with a little grey initiating... but I am really feeling too good and a bit cocky, I must admit.

However, it's not like he turned left and went to Asia. No, no, of course, he made the exact same path I did, looking from time to time and, most importantly, no smiles. Only looks. And we wait, the plane is crowded, and not only the Handsome is going to the same direction, but the same flight. Oh, well, too nice for a vacation start. So nice I did not even bother that my little sit was next to an obese gentleman, occupying his sit and 1/3 of mine.

That thought only lasted 3 seconds... and the Fatty starts to talk. You know when we think how can people just be happy and talkative? How does that happen, my Lord!? From where do I live, if I like it here, or there, where had I lived and my answers were just "yes", "no", "here", "there" or just a yellow smile. I am tired, I want to go on vacations, I do not need Fatty bugging my trip home, talking and wanting to be friends??? Remember, my ego was up in the clouds, Handsome looking before, feeling great going away! There was something like "we can exchange emails and meet while you are in town now on the vacations!" Answer: yellow smile and already with my headphones on pretending to be listening to music.

Finally, I can watch a movie and simply ignore the annoying presence. I cannot sleep soon, so 2 movies in a row, I laugh, I cry and suddenly the Fatty tried to hold my hand. My God, on what grounds? I want to scream, ask for help! The person, occupying my seat, wanting my email, and suddenly trying to hold my hand? My God! Wake up! Look at the mirror and get a life! "Excuse me" removing my hand abruptly and ignoring any conversation sound.

I pull again the most possible distance, was almost kissing the window, and desiring that this flight finishes as soon as possible. No, I am not causing a scandal, asking to move places, making people uncomfortable on a flight! My God, what an inconvenient person! Not only he is using my sit, he is inconvenient!!! Sleep arrives... sweet, nice, comforting and quiet.

And... we are almost there! Breakfast is served, I don't even want to eat, continue with the earphones and very quiet until AGAIN I am disturbed by Fatty, and the "holding hand". He, for this time, apologizes for disturbing me before, I agree that he did but it was ok... and he tries to make me talk to him. "I think we could get to know each other better"... that only leaves me one option: "No. I already know you enough and I do not think there is anything else we need to know from each other!".

Good Lord, why does people do that to themselves?

Before leaving he comes with a little paper and asks "Your email?". I don't even look at him, get the paper and pen, write any name and email that pops on my mind and delivers back. Again, weak maybe, but I did not want any interaction or confrontation. Gone, "have a good life" and good bye.

...

But the flight adventure is not done! To enter the country there is the local customs line and the foreigners... and to my surprise, Handsome is right there, in front of me. On the locals. Perfect, not a local face, but a local person. Makes no difference to me after all, so Handsome. And there, on the line, again the looks. And looks. And while waiting for the baggage, the vacation started! A smile and a blink of an eye! All to me! we crossed again in the duty free, and another smile.

When I left the transition area, I was sure I had lost him. Gone. And there was my mom, poor her, 5:30am and she was there to pick me up. And I was looking for Handsome! I finally see him taking a coffee, I get ready to go there and wish him a good stay but , of course, with the company of my mom it was just not appropriate. Then I leave, with a last little look. Happy, feeling gorgeous and now definitely ready for vacations!!!

Kate

Back to the game

I know it's been too long and many things have happened in my life since last post but let's keep it brief: my "relationship" with Vitor is over. It's been 2 weeks, and I'm still devastated but trying to get back on track. I hate the idea of being back to the game. but I can't help it... so... I'm doing my best in order to see a bright side on almost every man. I still don't have much to tell you as of now but will do pretty soon. Or at least let's hope I do! hahaha
Sophia

Diversification?

I accepted Eli's invitation for a drink tonight. I don't really want to see him, I definitely don't want to make out with him, but thought that going out with him would be a good way to take focus off the kid I can't fall for.

Sometimes I feel like the key to risk management in real life is the same as in finance: diversification. I don't like it, I don't usually do it, but again, I'm not the most successful relationship investor around, am I? Hey, let's try something different, right?

So fine, I cleared my schedule (well, it was already clear, but still) and the damn guy doesn't contact me! What is this??? Can someone explain me that?

Dude, if you don't want to go out with me, don't ask me out, simple as that... you are the one getting in touch, not me! Am I the only one that think this is unacceptably rude??? Well, I can tell you that: no more cookies for him. I am not even going to bother answering the email he will probably send on Thursday.

Anyway, besides the focus off the kid strategy, I'm actually relieved. I am so tired that I just want to go home and watch Sex and the City DVDs, eat pre-made diet food and end the day with a bubble bath and self "inflicted"pedicure.

Who would imagine that "nothing to do" could actually be better than "going out with a douche"?

Bisous
Anne

Cougar Town

The kid texted me Friday night, around 9pm. I didn't have my phone with me so ended up replying only on Saturday. We agreed to meet. I was supposed to go to his house and pick up the earrings I "forgot" there (I know, oldest trick on the book). He told me I could stop by anytime after 8pm.

After a barbecue at a friend's house, around 9:30pm, I was really lazy... wanted to see the kid, but didn't want to cross town to do so, so I asked if there were any chances of a home delivery. He said something like: "yes, but I'm not sure when I can make it"... I kind of expected that, it happens to me all the time, I'm always the one willing to do the effort, so told him there was no problem, I would go to him.

Surprise, surprise, I have misunderstood it, he said it would be no problem coming to me, he just' wasn't sure how long it would take him since he is new in town. You probably won't understand it, but he got so many points for that. I explain: he was getting "some" anyway, I asked him to come over, but at the smallest sign of resistance, I told I would go to his house... but him, at the top of his 25 years old, was gentleman enough to come to see me.

The kid is adorable. We talked for a little while, fooled around for another while and slept with him holding me. So nice.

Normally my heart lives in my vagina. I can't help it, it just does. But this time I'm determined to change things around. I just want a f*ck buddy, that's it. I don't want another 3 month fairy tale "relationship". I want a kid to fool around with whenever I feel like it, to be completely emotionally detached while I look for the real deal - and an alternative so that I can behave if I meet someone with real potential.

I don't want to obsess if he is calling me or not, I want to feel free to call him whenever I want. I don't want to play hard to get. I just want to have fun and get back to practice. And to have someone besides Danish guy to run to when I need to spoon.

Anyway, so far, so good. I am not allowing myself to daydream about the kid, nor to make plans, nor to avoid making plans with other people just to keep my schedule opened for him. The only question is "how long can this last"... not the booty call "relationship", but my detachment. Will see.

Now I'm off to the gym... I need to get back into shape, start running, spinning... anything to make me fit enough to keep up with the kid. I really don't know how the 40 something year old cougars make it... 24 hours later, and I'm still dead.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

PS.: Eli asked me out again this week... haven't decided yet if I will go out with him. But even if I do, just the idea of kissing him turns my stomach. Not a good sign.

Eating with a spoon

There was a free open bar party (loved the concept, but still in almost not drinking mode, so just grabbed 2 or 3 small glasses of champagne) last Friday for the reopening of one of the coolest bars in town. The party was a well kept secret, so it wasn't crazy crowded but at the same time attracted the regulars from last fall.

Every time I go to such bar I, at the same time, fear and hope I will run into Danish guy. Didn't happen this time, instead, an adorable 25 year old German crossed my path.
After the party, my friends and I voted to go clubbing, the German kid decided to ditch his friends and tagged along. At the club we went to a still empty dance floor and slow danced to pop hits, completely out of the place's rhythm, totally into ours.

We kissed, made out like 25 years old do and engaged in a discussion on what would be a girl's goal in a night out. I mean, except for the "hang with my girlfriends or dance crap"...

I figured that are 3 alternatives, depending on the type of girl or the mood of the night:

1) Prince hunting: finding the man of the girl's dream is the ultimate goal;
2) Making out with a tall, young, handsome German (category I included myself into); or
3) Just as guys, get laid.

He was happy with my answer, but spent good part of the night trying to transfer me from category 2 to 3.

After the traditional discussion: "nothing else besides what is already happening will happen if I go to your place", I decided to join him for the night - to be honest, given my choice of underwear, I clearly had bad intentions even before leaving my house.

Truth to my world, we just continued making out, but I got the spooning as a bonus.

Next morning, before the walk of shame - thanking God I had an outfit that was also suitable for the day - he asked me if I wanted his number. I said no, but if he wanted mine that would be fine.

I gave the kid my number to immediately regret not taking his. I mean: this is definitely not a guy I would be interested in having a relationship with (otherwise, in our twisted world, I would probably not even have kissed him), far younger and newer to town than what I'm currently looking for... But, he would actually be the "perfect tool" to:

A) Avoid reaching out to Danish guy when nature calls (and, trust me, after almost 6 months, it is calling...); and
B) Keeping up the good behaviour with the guys I actually consider having a relationship with.

I know that's ridiculous (especially "B"), I would be the first one to criticize the concept, but I'm far too tired to keep on challenging the system. That's how things are...

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the kid is not going to call, which is perfectly fine, he served his purpose: sometimes, a girl just need to spoon.

Bisous
Anne

Full stop

The "taking it slow" reached a "full stop" point. The frequency of daily emails reduced and no more dates happened.

We actually tried to see each other, he asked me out, but I got really sick and ended up being away from social life - and from the country - for more than 2 weeks. My main theory is that he found another girl, maybe one more compatible with him.

On my end, I wish he had been cuter when he found out I was sick. Not that we were in a stage of the "relationship" that it would be expected for him to worry and take care of me, not that I would even allow him to see me (trust me, I looked awful), but he could have been more attentive.

To sum up, I guess we both realized we are 2 great people, but just not too great for each other. I hope eventually we become friends (and maybe he could introduce me to some other cuties).

Besides the "Eli end of story", I ended up going out with this Swiss - VERY Swiss - guy yesterday. I met him in February and since then we've been talking - texting - about meeting up for a drink. I know, it's ridiculous taking 6 months to set up a simple date. I take my share of responsibility, the guy once asked me out a month in advance the proposed date... being Latina, I could not take that seriously so just replied with a "call me next month".

Finally, 10 days ago (VERY Swiss), we agreed on meeting yesterday. I had very low expectations - really, 6 months to set up a date??? If he is Mr. Right, we will be getting married by the time we are 80 in this rhythm! - but when he showed up I realised he was waaaayyyy more handsome than what I remembered: tall, light blond hair, blue eyes, glasses, adorable nerdy face. A perfect Anne's boy.

We started the date at 6:30pm (did I mention he is VERY Swiss?!), had some wine (just one glass for me, since I'm still not fully recovered), talked non-stop. No awkward moments. At some point he suggested meeting up so he could help me with my German, which I took as an indication of him wanting to see me again in the future.

We said goodbye around 10pm , kiss on the cheek (VERY Swiss) and "we keep in touch" (which I - and probably all of you too - hate). But he added that we should meet up again after my vacation in September (...) or maybe before (I guess he could see in my face that the "keep in touch" and "see you in a month" were not crowed pleaser).

Anyway, this one is actually better in person than on paper, but something tells me I should not hold my breath waiting for him to set up date#2... Good dating practice though.

Bisous
Anne

My weekend outside NY. Way outside of NY

I got on a flight out to Pittsburgh to meet the new beaus' colleagues, parents and friends. The beginning was a disaster. My flight was packed ans I arrived to an awkward welcome. It had been three weeks since we'd seen each other and between the cheap square toe shoe and nervous laugh he had. Our first few hours were awful, and he claimed that all of the jittery energy had something to do with 3 cups of late afternoon coffee. Yeah right.



The company party went off well and the awkwardness wore off. I think it was a combination of cocktails, good food, and my remembering what I liked about him.



Saturday was a significant improvement, and things got better every hour. Some time with the parents, friends from high school, neighbors... Met them all. And I was dressed to impress them all. Beach cover ups, gold sandals, jewelry changes,... I was the fanciest person in all of Pittsburgh! Ha. Isn't it a NY motto that overdressed is always better than underdressed?



Saturday night we barhopped and ended up at his parents house late. We decided that the best idea was to sleep together in his childhood room. I've never done that before. The morning was a bit awkward at breakfast with his mom, at least for me.



Oh, and the piece that I almost left out - the sex and the city nightmare - Sunday morning consisted of that on and off sleep. My stomach was killing me from drinking, junk food, and weekend without much bathroom privacy. You can guess the horrendous feeling when an unladylike noise escaped. We both pretended we were asleep. But I know we weren't. It was awful. How can that be forgotten? Not only does his mom think I'm a slut, he thinks I'm a pig!



Ayayay. At least he still seemed into me on Sunday during the day. We've got plans for 2 weeks from now.



Xx

Lauren

Taking it "slow"

Friday night: glued to my couch, watching friends and exchanging emails with Eli. He was living very far and it took me a while to answer about my plans for the night. He said he should have emailed me earlier, but now that he was already where the “wind makes the curve” - not so sure this phrasal verb makes sense in English :) – he was gonna have a relaxed night and rent a bad movie on itunes.

Saturday “morning” (well, I woke up at noon): Got an email from Eli asking me to lunch. Meet him (and his luggage, he was moving flats) and go to Japanese restaurant. Not sure it’s a date or 2 palls hanging out. Head to his new place to get the keys and leave some stuff, help him inspecting the apartment and already make plans for his balcony (can’t help but using the world “we” for “we need to buy a grill for the balcony”… blush when I realized I used the “w” word). Go for a coffee, talk a little bit about past relationships. From what I can see, he is a relationship guy and there are several ex-girlfriends, all seemed to be locked in the past and miles and miles away though. Good. Bought hand towels for the new house and walked him to where he takes the bus, very close to my house. No attempt to kiss me this time, but a promise to text me later with plans for the night.

Saturday night: Got a text while in the movies, told me he was gonna go out with the crew he went to dinner with, asked about my plans. Adapt his plans (and the crew’s plans) for my plans. Arrive to the place, I was with a bunch of people, he was with a bunch of people. Talked for a while but split. Texted some more and went home (he went clubbing).

Sunday morning: Wake up to “I’m sorry I couldn’t ditch the people I went to dinner with” and question about my plans for the day. Exchange a couple of emails, ask him to join my friends and I for brunch – my iphone played a trick on me and never delivered the email – didn’t hear from him for a couple of hours, got kind of pissed (good sign!). Get an answer to previous random email, don’t understand, go to sent items and realized the technical problem - yes, he sent me another email even though he thought I haven’t answered the last :)

Sunday afternoon: Agree to meet and go to the lake, but he has groceries (and milk…) so offer my fridge. He gets to my place and sits on the couch. We watched 2 ½ movies, some series and decide to eat. I cook some pasta, we watch a show about cars.

Sunday night: It’s time for him to leave, I’m convinced he wants to be my friend (sorry, no space in my life for another male friend, according to Jerome). I open the door, we are about to say goodbye. He kisses me. Such a good kiss, such a perfect first kiss. He asks me if he could see me this week. Sure he can.

You have no idea how different this is to me…. I’m used to instantly making out and falling in love at first sight. You have no idea how much I’m enjoying the taking it slow thing. Looking back – errr, to Thursday, maybe it’s not that slow… – I think it’s great I didn’t kiss him, because after spending 2 days together I fancy him much more.

I’m not in love (it may sounds weird, but normally I know immediately if I really like the guy) but I like him. And I can’t wait to see him again.

Bisous
Anne

Another almost

I went to a house warming party last night and Eli, the Canadian guy, was there. We chatted in the beginning, showed some familiarity due to our email exchange routine and than went to mingle. I caught him looking at me a couple of times.

I looked at him and mentioned to another friend what an idiot I was for not fancying him. She promptly agreed. I looked a little more and decided he was really cute and I should give it a shot. We talked in several small occasions during the night and at some point he sat by my side.

He is a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong, I am, at the moment, for the past 3 weeks and for the next 2 weeks a vegetarian as well. But that's it. And call me old fashioned, but I'm a girl, I'm allowed to be a vegetarian to lose weight, but he is a guy and guys eat meat. Guys love meat.

I - prayed and - asked if that was because he felt bad about the animals (God no, please please please no) and he told me it was just because processed and industrialized meat was unhealthy... I'm not sure if this is better or worst than feeling bad for the animals.

I know, this is extreme prejudice from my side. But it is one more point to add to his kind of feminine features... don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he is gay (even though he might) or anything, but he is just not masculine enough for me.

We both left the party at the same time and my house was on his way to getting the train, when I stopped at my doorsteps he came to say good bye, ready for a kiss. I could feel his hand in my lower back bringing me closer and his face close to mine trying to stop the freak 3 kisses on the cheek show they have in Switzerland.

Even though I really - REALLY - need a kiss (last one was Danish guy, more than 2 months ago...), I kept with the 3 kisses on the cheek and practically ran into my house. He looked puzzled. As I sat on my couch I started asking myself why I didn’t kiss him. And I guess the answer is up on this post... I'm just an idiot when it comes to guys.

Anyway, for what is worth, it was nice feeling wanted by a cute guy.

Let's see, maybe a kiss changes everything and I found a vegetarian partner that likes camping and lived in India... yeah, right.

Bisous
Anne - and I don't know why I'm still single... pfffff...

And the disaster comes....

I already knew I should have postponed the date of yesterday. After the great weekend, and the mindset of this being only a dating status, I felt it was too much to have a date right on Wednesday (specially since we had casually met on Tuesday evening). It was too much in all senses, and specially because the program included DVD at my place.

Of course, while at dinner (great Japanese food) all was fine. We were outside, nice weather, nice talk, no gluing moments or "couple's" moments. As a fair agreement, since we have been dating for over one month, some dinners we split the cost. Honestly, perfectly fine for me as long as it's not all dinners. Paying time, I had some cash (not enough) and and so did he. Now, instead of dominating the bull and being in charge, he let me pay with the Maestro and now he owes me 25 bucks. That's the beginning of intimacy on an inexistent relationship.

I took a deep breath, and I knew that even though he had offered that we went to his place this time, it was common agreement to leave it to another day (it's really damn far away for me to go home afterwards). There, we start seeing the teenager boy German again.... We went home, and everyone who knows me a little, is fully aware I am not the perfect organized person. Simply not. The boxes on the hallway are to stay there, I am moving after all! It's part of the drill! but the person needs to enter the flat, and simply remove them of the way and put by the wall. As an action, I have no problem and then it comes the sentence "this is too much mess for my sense of organization".

Excuse me? You are a guest, at my place, on a date you invited (and I paid), and we are watching DVD on my place and you still change things around for the sake of your sense of organization.... Oh boy....

As polite as I can be, turned on the TV and the movie started. Of course that along the movie I came close. Who does not like a hug? And a little kiss from time to time? Well, the problem is that whenever he did something, was already irritating. After the movie I wanted him to leave. Just go home. Nothing more to do, or say. But no... the person was allocated in my couch as a donkey. All the signs to avoid the request of "I think you should go home now". Got to a point he simply turned the TV off, my TV, because he had a great idea to read Cosmo magazine and try to make me get out of my bad mood. Fine, the idea might have been decent, but he turned off the TV while I was watching!

Finally, he goes. Clearly very sad, telling things like "I bored you during this date", or "it's obvious you do not want to spend more time with me", or "I don't mind sleeping still a bit more late to be able to stay here with you a little more". Oh lord, can you be more cheeeeeesy?

This morning I sent a "hi" message just to be polite and we agreed (well, I informed) I still need time, less intimacy, less contact, more time, more me-myself-and-I.... At the end, he stated that it's clear that, and he is willing to give me all the time and space (my mind is already "willing to give me?" I do not need him to "give" me anything simply because he is not my anything! But I do control myself) and that he hopes that someday I'll let him in, even just a little bit.

I never had believed in the rebounds per say, but they to exist. I do not see myself letting him in, or opening up not even one inch. Good for the spirit, but I don't think I'll take more then that on this one... even though I promised to keep my heart and mind opened!

Xoxo
Kate

Calendar Girl

My midwestern man has had no type of conversation with me about our "relationship" and what it is or where it's going. In fact, there's been no mention of exclusivity or terminology. I'm happy to go with this flow for a little while, after all, we've only known eachother for 2 months and have been seeing one another for about six weeks. AND, all of those six weeks are long distance.

So, I was surprised to receive a google calendar via email yesterday. It is our shared calendar, presented to me by my new man. I'm happy, but also a bit nervous. It details our weekends together (and which weekends we are apart) through October 30. It's not even July 30. That is 3 month out… which is a longer time than we've even known one another! Is this great news, or is this guy overzealous and kind of insane? Plus, as we haven't discussed any type of eventual move, it seems absurd that we're now talking about trips away together and all kinds of events if this is going to be a permanently long distance thing. I don't deal well with uncertainty. What does this mean? Can I continue to keep my mouth shut? Or does our next meeting warrant the question from me "Do you see this going anywhere and if so, where?"

To make this morning more interesting, I saw Carlos on the street this morning on my way to work. We had the most brief non-conversation hello you've ever seen. He all but ignored me, and I think that if I hadn't made eye contact, the quick "hola, como estas?" would not even have happened. For about a millisecond, my heart dropped into my stomach. But, a millisecond later, I kept walking, head high, and no attached feelings. I'm cured!

Alternative land

The Canadian guy is really cool. And cute, well employed, interesting... but no spark... I normally don't believe on the no spark thing, but this time it happened to me. And I believe he felt (well, didn't feel) it too.

We had a great time, talked for more than 3 hours, went to 2 different bars and the open space party where we sat on the grass and ate french fries.

I guess it's the camping thing... I immediately tend to rule out guys that are slightly alternative, love camping and lived in India for college exchange. Why? Why do I like boring instead of adventurous?

Anyway, he already emailed me so we will keep our chitchat... never hurt talking to a cool guy.

In any case it was great having a date after all this time.

Keep you posted.

Bisous
Anne

Blind not-so-date

I was wondering if I should post this text because I'm afraid I'm about to face another fiasco and have to expose again how ridiculous I am around here.

But, that's the purpose of the blog, isn't it?

So, today I'm meeting the guy my friend introduced to me by email. We've been exchanging emails for a while and he seems cool - promised to draw a moustache for our rendez-vous tonight.

I've been wondering all day if I should go home and change, even though I'm wearing my cutest work outfit... I decided that the regular me always put a lot of effort into anything guy-related and nothing ever works, so I decided to go with the opposite me - like the "opposite George", from Seinfeld - and go straight from work (well, I might stop at the gym and take a shower), not buying anything new and not stressing about it.

Anyway, I'm just going to face it as it is, a new friend that just moved to Switzerland (and who hopefully will find me cute, I will find him interesting and we will live happy ever after - sorry, can't help it...).

Bisous
Anne

From Boy to Man

Step by step, must admit, but the German Boy is becoming a teenager with potential to be a man. Have done the inconsequent decision, already a few weeks ago, to go abroad on a weekend with him. I tend to do these things that are never good, only creates uncomfortable situations and can pretty much jeopardize my reputation. Travelling around with a person I do not know, who works and live at the same little village, having broke up only a few months ago a very public relationship… But, I do it because this is me. I like it, I feel relaxed and comfortable enough with the person for that, Really I do not recall the traditional rules to be followed.

So, there were we, he stayed overnight on Friday since the flight was really early on Saturday. Was really a proper decision, two teenagers making out and no further action but sleep. To my surprise, the wake up call was also not active (for me), since he had brought fresh fruits, yogurt and prepared breakfast for us. Yes, breakfast in bed and we were still not even travelling. On the way to the airport, I was still quiet (takes me a long time to really wake up) and the person was very active talking… Thank God I am polite and smiled to his comments, and at some point I did wake up and started to respond. Yet again, this was not an issue and was faced by him as a reality, "have to deal with it right" and respected a bit my quiet morning moment.

Arriving in Prague, I had decided to let him be the lead of the weekend. Was all his idea, his plans and he was the one who already knew the city. Needless to say, he was doing very well in leading and telling me the things, explaining places, where, why, what. We were in the centre of the city and entered this five stars hotel, classic, traditional, almost imperial. Oh wow! The room was not ready so we went to the Spa to change (it was bloody warm) and start the tourism! On my summery dress we walked what I thought was to be cultural first but no: he took me shopping. Yes ladies, not on the traditional luxury stores, but he actually spend time with me looking into local (and very special) jewellery makers, porcelain, clothes. It was a good team combination the day… we walked store by store, had laughs, stopped by for a sandwich, walked a bit more, returned to the hotel. The room was ready and…. It was not a room, it was a flat! A living room, walk in closet, huge bed! Definitely, feeling like a princess, we ended up sleeping a bit, and woke up only for dinner…

For dinner, we had agreed to go fancy. Bawl gown, suit, crystals, Jimmy Choos…. Indeed a classy, upper class restaurant and delicious food! Again, the talk, the interest in knowing me better, asking question, discussing opinions, laughing of the old ladies with strange hats on the next table, and the blonde prostitute with a transparent dress on the other table was the scene of a perfect evening. Almost 1:00 am we returned to the Hotel, and even though the plan was to go out an party, it was raining so much that we decided to stay in.

Sunday morning, "I want to go sightseeing"!!! C'mon, I am here, have done enough of romantic blabla yesterday. As you can see, woke up not on my best moments. I did not want to stay in bed, with kisses and hugs until 11:00 am… two hours less would have been enough and I could go and see castles, museums, historical places! I know, you are thinking I am crazy, have mental problems and should go to a psychiatric house. But then again, I am not going to be the Girlfriend anytime soon. I am definitely not ready, my mind still has some "special" moments, I cannot commit now. So, let's enjoy the time together not necessarily in the romance mode! Finally I managed to make my point without being rude. I was definitely happy then! Great company, insights, comments, tips, information, talks, walks.

And there, at some points of leading the way along the weekend, he is really teenager and even a man sometimes. Gentleman, caring, thoughtful. Still, drinks chocolate milk and not coffee, sometimes is like a schoolboy in puberty, can make jokes like Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey in their worse dumb movies… Maybe, I am still asking too much and creating problems (like thinking this is all for the sex, which I know can be a very stupid thought considering all the effort done). Maybe I just cannot see that he it many things that I appreciate… smart, intelligent, nice, gentle, carrying (I said that already), dedicated, ambitious, funny. Or is it all just me arming myself to hold on to this a bit more until the finalization of my last relationship is gone, cleared, passed and buried?

Promise I'll keep the mind and heart opened, as much as possible…..

Xoxo
Kate

The 2 month wait

I guess Bob Grant was right after all... just stay 2 months without contacting the guy you want to get back and he will contact you. Bingo. 2 months and a week after I sent last sms to Danish guy, I get a text (Saturday) asking if I was going to a festival that night. I waited for a while and just replied "not tonight, have fun" which got a "ok, fine" as a response.

I of course erased the number and this morning, I see another text, sent around 1am "hi, you up for a drink?". My question is: did he mean a) up at 1am on a Sunday for a drink (yeah right) or b) up in general for a drink?

Even though I really hope it is alternative b, I'm pretty sure it is alternative a, in which case, his sms will remain unanswered. He only treats me like a random girl he picked up at a bar because I let him, right? Well, than it's up to me not to be that girl anymore.

Anyway, I'm amazed that the book was so right and so precise with the time line...

On another end, I might have a blind date this week. A friend introduced me by email o this Canadian that just moved to Switzerland. We exchanged some emails about meeting on the weekend but we both ended up being busy, so he just sent me an email asking about this week.

Wouldn't it be great to tell Danish guy that I've met someone else and that actually being true???

Anyway, I'm amazed with the healing power of time.... Of course I still have feelings for Danish guy, but I really don't want to see him at any cost.

And you know the best part: I've lost more than 5kgs since the last time I saw him ;)

Have a great week!

Bisous
Anne

The arrogance turned into thoughtful actions

Well, well, after the very intense break up of my last relationship, I should be aware that it is needed some time alone. Not alone in the sofa, but simply alone for me to review the facts, reasons why I exploded after having the "perfect-life" situation. The reason why it all happened the way it happened is still being thought and developed in my mind. I definitely need to change and adjust myself a bit more when it comes to settling a relationship…. Then again, this is theme for another post!

Back to the focus: German Boy. You know when you think you saw enough or arrogant people, there is always room for improvements in your standards. Here I am, dating a guy that is not my physical favourite type (at all), a bit geek, extremely arrogant (based on the intelligence I guess), a bit too much self-assured, bossy… and still, I am enjoying!! It has been already more then one month, and through the time not only he demonstrated interest in me, in my stories, in my likes and dislikes, but also the listens.

I mentioned once that on a train ride around here there is a beautiful, fantastic view. Just that. Two days later, I receive a gift…. Not really wrapped, but very special: a picture he took himself of the city view from up a hill (or something like that). Beautiful! In a normal day, I would say it's a bit too much. I do not like, definitely not, too much of attention. Of course, the world needs to realize I am here, but for a guy, I like that he makes me still feel there is a world or friends, people, things to do that simply does not include me. And having that much of attention on the first week of dating (actually after the second official date) could be a bit over-doing. And it wasn't.

So, all that arrogance and talks on business that we have (of the professional ambition and analysis of our colleagues and bosses) simply disappear when he does those little thoughtful things!

You might remember (or maybe I did not tell) that I travelled to the UK some weekends ago. Being there I saw a book of the history of Valentino (yes, me love it!). It was definitely to heavy to carry back home, so I just mentioned and thought of buying at Amazon or so…. Yes, you know already the end of the story, I have the book and it was not me buying! Another very good catch, well thought gift. Killing the aspects of over-arrogant-geek to a very nice and pleasant thoughtful company!

Last but not least, the cheese! My thing is certainly not going to the mountains carrying a tent and sleeping over on a non-appropriate-place. But, the self confident German Boy thinks he is superman and loves doing this adventures! Good for him, as my friend would say, and this time, good for me! As a cheese lover, the last action of attention was a piece of fresh cheese, directly from the mountain's farm.

Just hope I can manage to keep myself on a good distance, simply to preserve all this to become The Rebound 2 (which actually is a movie that I simply loved)…

Xxx
Kate

Rejected, again.

Greg is right, always right. No matter how much we try to fool ourselves, he just always gets it. Today's post: if he is not asking you out, he is just not that in to you.

I ran into Beat yesterday at a street party and we (him, his friends, my friends and I) stayed kind of in the same place for the night. I wouldn't go so far as to say he completely ignored me because he is polite and we still got the WC finals to discuss, but that was it.

At some point, Jerome was tipsy and told the guy that he should stop looking at me (I didn’t see he looking at me at all) and go talk to me. Come on, how much more assurance do you need??? He responded with something vague like "not now".

Anyway, it wasn’t then, it wasn't after that either. At some point I went to the bathroom and when I was coming back I ran into him on his way to the toilette, we chatted for a few seconds, but no look, no cuteness, no spark (well, no spark for him). And we just went our separate ways.

Shortly after that, when he was coming back, he ran into his – ugly ugly – girl friends (one of which he spent a good amount of time talking to) that were leaving and left with them, not even a goodbye for us – for me.

To cheer me up, my friends kept telling me that the guy is just insecure. Come on, kids, he is 34, THIRTYFOUR, and not 12... and by 28 I think I can tell when a guy is interested and when he is not.

I'm kind of upset, feeling ugly and kicking myself for ruining everything with a great guy once more (flashback - the drunk making out episode). But at the same time, I've been rejected so many times I can quickly recover from that.

And I keep asking myself: will I ever be some guy's dream girl? Or will I always have to fight for them? I'm just exhausted.

Anne

Visit part deux

The midwesterner wanted to come back again last weekend. Since I'm genuinely interested and want to give this a chance, I said of course - although I'm concerned that so many hours straight is a recipe for disaster. However, it went off almost without a hitch. I have a short, NY temper (which I'm working on), so I had one or two moments on the verge of snapping. However, all in all, we got along great, had a ton of fun, and ended the weekend on Monday morning before work :). We already made plans for two weeks from now. I'm visiting him and attending a work party and meeting his parents. Intense?

I've all but forgotten about other guys and have lost interest completely in trying to keep up with my normally robust dating schedule. Is this a good sign, or am I jinxing myself and might I be kidding myself about a relationship with someone from another part of the country? I know it's only been six weeks and a few visits, but the last thing I want as I approach 30 is to be with a guy who isn't taking this seriously, because of the distance and our very different lifestyles. On the other hand, Anne always says that if two people fall in love, distance doesn't matter. And she can cite a million examples. But could I be one?

Xx

Lauren

Quiz

Who here is in favor of me emailing Beat to ask:

a) What did he think about the WC finals?; or
b) What did he think about the WC finals AND ask him out to lunch?

Who here thinks I should not email him but should keep the PP'10 by bugging Jerome to set up more group events?

Who here thinks I should stop bugging you with my PP'10? ;)

Guinness award

I really don't know why I still bother thinking things will ever work out for me. Of course Beat never showed up yesterday. I should win the Guinness award for the “girl who was most stood up in the world”.

Anyway, I should not take it personally because it wasn't a date and the place was so packed you could barely move (sorry for making excuses on his behalf). I was upset yesterday but when I woke up I just felt like it's not a big deal.

Not him not showing up, but him and my "project". Again, I like the idea of him, but not sure I like him.

In addition to that, I've been planning my summer vacation... a week in a yatch in Ibiza! Maybe it's best that nothing starts between Beat (or any other guy) and I until I get back since I will probably be "stuck" in a boat with what seems to be 5 tall, blond, well educated, Austrian dudes ;)

I will confirm as soon as I have everything settled and also keep you posted on my non-story with Beat.

Ah, before I forget: yesterday was the birthday of the 25 (now 26) year old I mentioned in my "last relationship" section... I sent him an email, no questions, no sentiments, just wishing him happy birthday... I know he is not going to answer (and I'm really ok with that, especially since there were no questions and given that I know he is dating someone else, 5 years my junior...) but he will always have a special place in my heart.

Off to lunch time tanning.

Bisous
Anne

P a lot of P'10

I did see Beat yesterday. He managed to spend 30 minutes talking about soccer with me (maybe the guy that once told me I shouldn't let men know I understand so much about soccer is right... grrrr) and that chat was enough to convince me he is just not interested...

...until I ran into him coming out of the bathroom. Without an audience he was much cuter, looked at me differently and I could swear he almost kissed me when we said good bye.

Instead of a "see you very soon", I got a "see you tomorrow" after he asked me if I would be at the same place for the game tonight.

Well, I am looking forward to see him tonight, but I have to admit that my project is running out of fuel: the patience.

Bisous
Anne

Vacation from myself

I've tried. I've really tried. But, in the end, I still couldn’t. It is so annoying knowing me this well… sometimes I wish I could take a break from myself and when I was to come back from vacation, there would be something new, surprising about me.

Not the case.

I told you I wasn’t gonna like geeky guy, didn’t I? But we agreed I should give him a chance. Well, I did, he took it and we went out for drinks.

We went to my favorite pub where I end up having far too many beers for my empty stomach. Long story short (especially because I don’t really remember all the details), I got wasted, he was sweet and even though I could barely spell my name, I still didn’t make out with him.

Just to make sure you got the picture: I was drunk and still didn’t make out with a guy that was being sweet to me.

We said our goodbyes and I woke up the next day being surer than ever that there was no future for geeky and I. Apparently he didn’t get the same impression, since he keeps bombarding me with emails, chats, sms, smoke signals, messages in a bottle, etc.

The worst part is that having a date with him just made me want the “unspeakable” more.

In addition to that little tale, I’ve also been talking to one of my guy friends about our “situation”. We’ve known each other for quite a while, we are part of the same group of friends and lately I started noticing more than the usual friendly vibe from him.

Since we are such good friends we decided not to just let nature take it course, but to discuss the issue as grown ups.

We briefly talked about it and decided to taste it before deciding. We kissed. I didn’t feel a thing but I’m not sure that was his take out of it too…

Anyway, since he is such an amazing guy, I decided not to close myself to the possibility yet… but, as I said in the beginning of this post, I know me far too well to have real hopes on this case.

Sophia

Fingers crossed...

... I think I will see Beat tomorrow... no, not a date, just another group event. At least another opportunity to carry on my PP'10, show him how absolutely not crazy I am and hope for the best (well, something else than the third episode of the "see you very soon" saga).

Wish me luck!

Bisous
Anne

PP'10

Just like a divine intervention or one of those tricks from the faith, or just because this city is indeed very small, for better or for worst, I ran into Beat yesterday.

I went to watch a game with a couple of friends in an open space area. It was very cool, we ordered a bottle of champagne (yeah, on a Monday, I know...) and just as we were approaching half time I spotted Beat (along with a very cute friend).

He came by to say hello, pulled a chair and there he stood until the end of the game. His cute friend left him there to join the other members of their crew (I wonder if they were all of the same quality) and just rejoined us about 10 minutes to the end. We spoke sports, trips, living in Switzerland. It wasn't very flirty or maybe that's just how swissgermans flirt.

Anyway, I have no idea what he is thinking... is he trying to get to know me? Does he like my company as a friend? Is he shy? Does he want me just for my soccer knowledge? Why would he ditch his friends and spend 2 hours with me, but in the end, just give me another "see you very soon"?....

Project patience 2010...

Bisous
Anne

Long distance?

The midwesterner had left NY less than 2 weeks ago asking when he could come back to see me. We decided on this past weekend. He seemed eager to get here and hesitant to leave. Which is great, but leaves me a bit nervous that we are pushing the envelope a bit spending over 48 hours together this early on. He arrived at 7 and we had dinner and drinks before heading to bed a bit tipsy and having already discussed seeing eachother again. Saturday we spent the day watching the World Cup and later hitting the beach for the rest of the weekend. Everything went well and he's a great guy. Interesting, successful, nice, and genuinely interested (or seems to be) in a relationship! Even from another time zone...

He's offered to come back this coming weekend for the 4th of July. Seems wonderful, but again - how much time together is too much time at this stage of the game. And where is this going? How can we put a lot of effort into something without knowing if one of us would even be WILLING to relocate? However, I'm determined not to undermine this one just yet. He's a great catch, and although there might not be fireworks exploding every time I hear his name (although we had an interesting experience with the timing of a fireworks show late Saturday night... if you get my drift...), everything seems to be there and there's chemistry. In my experience, that's only about 5% of the male population for me, and only about 5% of that 5% are single and interested in me. So I really need to count my blessings here, right? Or do I cut my losses before spending months going back and forth between NY and Chicago only to realize that we don't want to be in the same place, so it can never be?

For now, I'm taking Anne's advice and being open to the idea, no questions asked (just yet). Anne, I love you, but I"m all ears if anyone else has an opinion.

Lauren

Trapped in the past

I know I told you I wouldn't talk about this here anymore, so I'm sorry to annoy you with that again.... but I can't help it... since I also told Kate, Sophia and Lauren I wouldn't email them on this subject either.

Two weeks ago, just before Danish guy's birthday, I ran into him at a bar. I was with 2 guys and another girl and he was with a group of guys and, as far as I can tell, hitting on a pretty blond that was with them. After the girls left, I went to the bathroom and stopped by to say "hi". Didn't engage in any additional conversation, just "hi" and off to the bathroom...

Last Saturday I went to a very cool party, I think the coolest one since I've arrived to Switzerland... it was by the lake and I think all expat community was there. Including... yes, Danish guy.

I spotted him and thank God my friends didn't let me go talk to him, a couple of minutes later he came to speak with me, so did his friend who I met when I came to visit last year.

The friend asked me if I was visiting from the US.... WTF!!! Am I that not important that Danish guy didn't even tell one of his best friends I MOVED here??? I chatted with his friend for a while and then turned to Danish and spoke for a few minutes. He said he catch up with me later... of course he didn't.

I left the party really upset... mainly upset with me for still wanting this so badly.... I was leaving the party and ran into a couple of friends... when the guy gave me a hello hug I busted into tears... in the middle of the street....

I can't believe I'm so upset again... haven't slept much in the last couple of days either...

I really don't know what to do... should I look for professional help? Should I move out of town? I can't go out every time both afraid and hoping I will run into him.

I'm sorry again for the drama, but it seems like I'm unable to have dating fun... you have no idea how many cute guys were at that party... and I only had eyes for one...

Anne

Rodizio

After weeks avoiding it I finally accepted the invitation of the geeky guy that works across the hall.... I have been speaking with him for a while in the company's chat, but have no - if not negative - interest in going for something more than a friendly chat during boring mid- afternoons.

Reasons why I didn't want to go out with him:
- He is not my type.
- He is not cute.
- He is not older.
- He is showing genuine interest in getting to know me.
- You shouldn't eat the meat where you earn the bread, and in the past I've treated the workplace as a rodizio....

However, after I slipped in one of my email exchanges with Lauren, Anne and Kate, they basically obliged me to give the poor boy a chance (as per Lauren's maxima: everybody has a chance).

So after rescheduling a couple of times, I finally let myself be taken to lunch.... and.... it was fine.... he is slightly cuter than what I remembered, a little bit more interesting than what I expected. But, anyway, still not my type and still waaaaayyy to interested in me for my taste....

Anyhow, I decided to go with the flow, can't tell you by now if I would say yes or no to another possible less casual invitation, but he is still there to help me cope with afternoon boredom.

I will let you know how it goes...

Sophia

See you very soon

I've made 2 new friends last week and, as their first task, they will introduce me to a German single dude that tends to like girls from my nationality. Yeah, 2 friends and a possible date, sounds like a good week to me.

On Saturday I went to Jerome's house to watch as many games as we could. Beat was also there (remember him? Not so difficult this year since he is the only guy I kissed besides Danish boy). We didn't flirt but we talked a lot. I like him.

By the end of the night, Beat took me to the tram stop, waited 20 minutes with me and took the only tram that was not going into the direction of his house just to stay one more station into our little chitchat. I told him we were going to watch the games at a restaurant on the following day, and he gave me the impressing he might show up - of course he didn't.

When it was time for him to leave, he said: "see you very soon"... ok, this is the SECOND "see you very soon" I get in the last couple of weeks from guys that don't have my contact details.... is this a Swiss thing or what? What does "see you very soon" means??? Well, by now I think it means nothing, so won't really obsess about it.

Anyway, I do want to see him very soon, but also recon there is nothing I can do about it (well, there is plenty I could do: add him on facebook, ask Jerome for his number, send him an email - I know the company + I know his name = I know his email... - but of course if I ever am to have another chance with him I just have to sit still and hope he adopts one of the above mentioned strategies).

Well, no worries, I have a very fun week ahead of me, with 2 friends visiting, date with German dude, very fertile ground for blog posts.

Before I forget - I wish I could - today is Danish guy's birthday. I already decided I won't call him and am happy with the decision. I think - I hope - this time I am really moving on.

Bisous
Anne

Welcome Kate!

After a long and cold Date-Hibernation, I went out on Friday with a Genfer friend, she was here in the German part of the world only Friday and Saturday. We decided to go to a bar, have only some finger food and talk. At the terrace bar, crowded as always, we waited inside for a little while already with our white wine/champagne in hands. Sooner rather then later, we were sitting outside on a table close to 3 Germans. To avoid any compromising, we spoke in Spanish about our ex/current, job, life complaints and the regular seek for cuties… For our lovely surprise, they approached us, in Spanish, asking from where we were.

Oh God lord, there is no safe language to talk around here, definitely! And so we met Leonart, Matthias and Emmanuel. Clearly, one not real German but with a nice foot in Italy. There was then more wine, and more wine, and a little bit of cheese and olives. Our new friends were fun, interested and absolutely up for fun! Needless to say, I got to know Leonart a bit better and my friend interacted better with Emmanuel. Poor Matthias was simply there, looking around and trying to catch up with some pieces of conversation here and there. At some point (already very late) I had to go home and had no conditions whatsoever to sit on the public transport and feel my head turning around. Jumped on the first cab I found and, fortunately got home in good shape.

Now, why do we have mobiles and why do we keep flirts around that are not having fun somewhere else in town??? German Boy (I'll have to present him on another special note) was always a live option for SMS chatting and this time: a live option to keep me awake and not lose my 7AM flight to the UK. Said and one, there he was downstairs and, as a good girl we remained downstairs, as good teenagers kissing and teasing until I had to go to the airport. Obviously he took me there, did the check in and suddenly for my blunt surprise there was Leonart also there, checking in for a flight to Hamburg… Oh My God! I quickly turned and tried to be invisible, and managed that none of them notice…. Did Leonart mention that he was flying on the next morning?? Well, the wine blurred everything, but I have the feeling he did but the level of drinks did not allow me to process the information!

On the plane, happy and proud of my return to the Dating-Confusion world. Feeling free, drunk, sleepy, tired, fulfilled and definitely looking forward for more!

XoXo
Kate

The midwesterner comes to town

So, as I'd said, mark from my Patagonia trip was cute, nice, gainfully employed, and emailing me! Unfortunately, he doesn't live anywhere near here. I guess it could be worse. He could NOT be emailing me.

Just so hapens that he will be in town for a friends birthday... It's Monday morning, so here's my wknd recap...

Friday we go our separate ways. He's off to a buddys birthday and I'm at work drinks. I feel embarassed that I asked if we could meet up. He basically says no because the party is technically in Hoboken - new jersey...

I get over the slight and figure he'll call in the morning.

He does!

At 9am! We go for a run and then sit on my terrrace talking for a few hours. He heads back to nj to shower and change and we meet back up for cocktails with a few friends. He is really cute. Next thing I know, it's 530 am and we are sitting on my deck talking. I decide it's time for some sleep and he stays with me. It was great - nothing happened! He's sweet and not aggressive at all. Definitely not a ny banker type. Thank goodness!

xo
Lauren

Angie and Brad

We couldn't do it... we arrived at the place and the bar was packed - not with people attending the speed date, but normal people engaging in regular flirting.

We stick around observing the people that would participate on the thing.... worst, way worst than expected.

Anyway, I went, I saw and I took it out of my possible alternatives to get a date. And the manager of the event got pissed at us, saying that we ruined the event – Jerome and I felt like Angie and Brad ditching a charitable dinner.

Yesterday I went to one of the coolest bars in Bern and I'm happy to anounce I got my mojo back! Boys, interesting, cute boys talked to me.... one introduced himself while I was talking to another!

It's gonna be a good summer :)

Bs,
Anne

Speed dating... oh, well...

It's 5:07pm.... I will leave the office at 5:30pm tops... the plan is going to the gym, 20 minutes of aerobics, 10 minutes of sauna and than...

Speed dating... (oh, don't worry, I plan on showering first).

A couple of weeks ago a friend forwarded me this email with a speed dating add. Since I have absolutely nothing to do, I decided to enroll, if not for anything else, for the sake of this poor blog that is in desperate need of some action.

I am pretty sure the place will be full of weirdos and almost 40 bold, chubby guys... but, oh, well, worst case scenario I can get a good laugh out of it (and my friends a good laugh out of me).

Ah, and I'm taking Jerome down with me... we are actually considering wearing fake mustaches to avoid identification by third parties.

Will let you know how it goes.

Bisous
Anne

PS.: Again, no funny business in NYC... what is wrong with me? Am I officially a grown up?

Late night disaster

I love when Anne is in NYC. We are a disastrous pair, but have the best time shopping, brunching, laughing, and Partying... note the capital P. It's just post patagonia and seems as though my Latin lover has missed me! I had decided that as soon as annes visit ended, I'd speak my mind and let him know how I felt and what I wanted (rather, what I needed to prevent myself from going completely crazy wondering what I'm doing with him).

So, on annes last night, we decide to make it a big one. Out all night. We somehow meet several professional basketball players and accept their invitation to drinks and a great spot at a lounge. To be honest, I don't even like that lounge and am happy to buy my own drinks, but the novelty of an evening with unknown pro athletes seems like a good idea at the time (1am). Long story short, I run smack into my Latin hearthrob with an oversized athlete hanging over me. It did not go over well. Can you blame him? He has basically lost all respect for me and I spent several days with an aching heart, feeling ashamed of my behavior, and trying to talk to him. To no avail.
Finally, I wrote down everything Id wanted to say a few weeks ago and clicked send. Impersonal, but better than camping out at his house.

Several days later I got a reponse. Not a positive one. He's offended by my behavior, but also sees no future with me. He'll call me sometime to talk. Fat chance. And there you have it- terrible situation, but finally, closure. And you know what, I'm ok. Deep down it's what I knew, but didn't want to know and couldn't bring myself to face the end of what was so much fun and a wonderful daydream.

So now I'm single. Totally and 100% single.

For this week, I'm actually satisfied this way. Dating was heartache and my emotions need a break. Remind me of this when I complain I don't have a date for my friends dinner party nxt week.

xo Lauren

Adventures in Patagonia

One of my long time dreams was to hike through Patagonia, see the glaciers and the mountains, and be totally removed from civilization. No phones, no computers, no hairdryers. Check! I did it. Four days of pretty serious roughing it. No electricity, no showering (gross), and definitely no makeup. However, society has managed a way to deliver cold beer to outposts that don't even have flushing toilets, which leads to the meat of my story. A few girlfriends and I celebrate our accomplishment and how well we've been "roughing it" with beers and drinking games. Of course, the guy / girl ratio at this "bar" is in our favor, so I end up talking to Mark. Mark is an adventurous midwestern guy who loves to travel, has a great job, and works out nonstop (very obvious from the moment we meet). One beer leads to another and he walks me back to my camp after dark. It has started to rain and we kiss like 8th graders for a good long while. It's not a vacation without some sort of romantic interlude, right?

Luckily, he's not as 8th grade the following day, and we spend some time together and exchange contact information. When I get back to NYC, I have an email waiting from him! And... he happens to be coming to NY the following weekend. Do I just go with it and end up having a short fling with a midwestern ironman? Or do I realize that this is probably not ideal relationship material? Why is the midwest so far from ny?!



Lauren

Anne + start spreading the news

I'll go to NY to meet Lauren and do some work next week, so I've been trying to find some male distraction at the big apple.

Last time I was there I briefly met this very cute and funny (well, as funny as he could be in our 5 min conversation) guy. He gave me his card. After some googling from my part I found out he was very, very good on paper as well.

Anyway, I just sent him an email telling I will be in NY and saying that if he still wants to meet for a drink to let me know (which I found genius of me, since it doesn't sound like I'm inviting him, but just that I'm collecting last time's rain check).

Not so sure he will reply, but will keep you posted either way.

I could really use a fling.... just an update, I was at Danish's guy neighborhood yesterday and buzzed his door... 100% sober.... maybe I need medical assistance if I'm already doing those things without a drop of alcohol in my blood. Thank God he wasn't home. Now I just need to resist 2 more days before being - again - an ocean apart.

Bisous
Anne

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjsXo9l6I8&feature=player_embedded

Anne + die trying

Just a quick "hi" so you know all 3 of us are still alive.

Lauren is in Latin America in an adventure with 2 other girls.

I'm back to Basel after an 8 hour train hide from Germany (damn volcano).

Sophia is here with me and has some juicy juicy (or wine wine) Basel story to share.

Of course I have stuff to share about the Danish guy... but.... it's just so boring... this blog is supposed to be about the fun dating episodes (just go to our first page and you will see what I'm talking about) and not about melodrama... anyway... I'm in a "die trying" moment, so I will wait until I'm back to "dating on every continent" to properly post something.

This might be sooner than expected since I will visit Lauren in NYC next week. Already have lunch with a cutie lined up and will try to arrange some drinks with a guy (perfect on paper) I briefly met last time I was there.

As for Danish guy... yes, he is still my first and last thought of the day, but I haven't figured out what do I want to do yet - forget? enjoy? love game? - I'm stucked...

Anyway, enough drama.

I have blog news: we will soon be joined by a girl that lives in Germany and another one moving to Asia (well, the one that will be our Asia correspondent doesn't know that yet, but will soon be informed!).

Stay tuned for Sophia's next post, plenty of dating, none of the drama, just how we like it.

Bisous
Anne

Anne + Different is good, isn't it?...

He did end up calling me yesterday. At 8pm saying he would have dinner with the Danishs and would meet me later at a bar close to my house if I wanted to.

I tried a new approach... I said "I'd love to (the magic words), but was still a little bit sick (remember yesterday's fake flue?) so I'd better sleep." Danish guy sounded disappointed but said it was cool, feel better and "we keep in touch"... what the hell is "keep in touch?!".

Of course I didn't sleep again last night and haven't I deleted his number just after our 1 minute call, I'd probably be texting him to stop by after dinner anyway.

I don't think not seeing him will have any effects in our non-relationship so still not so sure why I did it. It won't make him like me, it won't make him call me, again, it won't make a difference.

And now, instead of having a nice champagne brunch with him I'm here watching Scrubs and writing to you - and I hate Scrubs.

However, I woke up feeling a little bit better today, what a difference a good night sleep makes. Controlled the urge to go to his house and ask him out for a run.

I think one of the problems is the amount of advice I'm seeking... aren't we supposed to listen to our hearts? I know, what good listening to my heart did to me? But I return the question: what good not listening to it is doing?

Anyway, in 2 hours I will be in a plane going to Munich to meet Sophia and Jerome (my best friend here in Basel, the one I've been torturing with my girly dramas) and will try my best to have a good time.

I wouldn't expect a lot of action from me for the next couple of days though, not really in the mood to flirt, even though I'm about to go to the land of the blond, the land of the tall.

Can tell you in advance that I'm planning on calling Danish guy on Wednesday and asking him out on Friday - yes, Sophia and Lauren, I will... -, no way I can spend 10 days in NY without seeing him again. Then I have 10 days of intensive Lauren support to get over it - once I was so sad with Danish guy, she danced like a Russian guy to make me feel better... well, Lauren, get ready for more dancing.

Bisous
Anne

Anne - Ooops I did it again...

After not sleeping nor eating for 2 days, I decided it was safer to go home instead of out yesterday.

Rented on my tv "Bridget Jones diary" - nothing like seeing a slightly overweight, ridiculous, 30something girl find love to make me feel better, right? - and poured myself a vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime.

15 minutes into the movie (and into the vodka) I was smiling and giggling again. Breathing without pain.

45 minutes into the movie (and into the second vodka) I was deeply identifying myself with Bridget and Danish guy with Mark.

65 minutes into the movie (and into the third vodka) I was driving Sophia and Lauren crazy with my emails.

By the end of the movie (and the third vodka), I called the Danish guy. He didn't pick it up. I started crying like a baby, called my best friend in Bern (a guy) and stop responding to emails. Today I learned that my friend was so concerned (and, as a guy, panicking in view of my female tears) that he sent an email to Lauren and Sophia asking them to call me. He was afraid my apartment would turn into a tears' pool and I would drawn in it.

Anyway, when I finally calmed down (around 10:30pm), Danish guy calls me back on his way home from work. He asked me if I had a cold, due to my nasal voice. I blamed it on the weather. I think I was successful speaking straight and not saying anything stupid.

He didn't know I would be traveling for the long weekend. He wants to see me tonight, even though he had already made plans with the Danish entourage, and spend the day tomorrow. He is supposed to let me know - one can only hope.

Thank good I won't be in town this weekend and will have the full support of Sophia, who is visiting me next week.

Reasons why I'm an idiot:
1) I like a guy that wants nothing (well, almost nothing, if you know what I mean) to do with me.
2) I called him last night.
3) I hope I'll see him tonight.
4) I'll probably be back to how I was feeling - miserable - in no time.
5) I make a fool of myself in front of my friends (ok, ok, by now they are pretty used to it) and you guys (great, more audience for my ridiculous behaviour).

I need a break from Bern.

I'll keep you posted.

Anne

Sophia: to email or no to email...

I can’t believe I’m finally on vacation, in London, and can’t stop thinking about a guy that doesn’t want anything serious with me! I’ve been following a strategy of not contacting him - ok that strategy started only a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been doing pretty well so far. I even began to see some results. But it´s been 4 days since our last contact and I’m dying to talk to him.

Besides, I’m feeling kind of bad because I didn’t tell him when I was leaving for Europe, I just told him it would be soon. (and he always tells me when he travels and when he comes back – every other week he goes on a business trip for 5 or even more days).

I was hoping he would ask the exact date I was gonna leave but he did not. Anyway, I managed not to tell him and wait for another contact and then say “ hi, I’m sorry, I can’t see you today, cause I’m in Europe!!” But that didn’t happen on those last 4 days – he didn’t email or call me, and I was not supposed to start any kind of contact.

Now I’m having breakfast, in London, ready to start my sightseeing, but I just can’t even decide where to begin because I’m thinking about him.
(pause)
Ok, I just emailed him… don’t blame me, pls. I was feeling real bad and “guilty for not saying goodbye. Anyway, my email actually had a point: He comes to London every now and then and told me that he could give me some advice on places to go, if I wanted to. So, it was about time to collect that offer! Haha. I just wrote him that I was in London (no apologies for not tell him before) and that I had just finished reading a book he gave me about a month ago, and that I wanted his advice on restaurants. It’s still every early in Brazil, so I can relax and enjoy at least a few hours of London without any expectation of response!

Sophia

Anne - It died...

The last hope finally died...

Anne

So many men... so little time...

Well, so there ARE so many men in my life. Unfortunately, I can't tell how much any of them like me. For that matter, sometimes I don't even know how I feel about them. Here's the short of the long story:

Carlos - we'd had very tentative plans for either Wed or Thurs. Wed he basically flaked, so in my utmost maturity I made solid plans for Thursday. (a date). Of course he called me on Thursday morning to find out what our plan would be. I responded that I had tickets to an art show and dinner plans. He sounded upset. I stayed over ... yes, after a date with someone else. (who i did not even kiss). I realize how awful that sounds and haver zero excuse. Except that I am trying everything to get over Carlos. It just doesn't seem to work.

Friday - I speak to Carlos around 7pm and indicate that I'll be at home relaxing. If his nap doesn't get him energized for clubbing, I'm happy to go get a drink somewhere. He calls me back, 2 hours later, we go for a drink, and spend the Friday night together. Healthy. Very healthy.

Saturday - date from Thursday night meets my friends and I out at a party. After WAY too many cocktails, I believe I confess (more or less) that I have feelings for someone else. I guess he's out of the picture. A friend calls me a "mythical dating creature" while out. Single friends think my dating life is impressive. If I only divulged the pathetic details, they'd finally see the sad truth. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sunday - wake up to a txt from Carlos stating that NY life is too intense and that we need to get ourselves to a Panamanian beach. If he only knew... I proceed to go have brunch with my "english guy". He's that great guy that I thought I would still have a chance with and it just wasn't the same. I think he's disinterested. It KILLS me. And makes me wonder what I can do to stop thinking about damn Carlos, get the English guy back in my life, and be normal. Is that possible?? Then... Carlos calls... he wants me to go on a double date with his friend and girlfriend (I"ve met them before in another context). My stomach flip flops, my heart races, I accept, and spend Sunday night with them. AND... it's totally natural. This just makes me like him more. Guys, can you please tell me how to get over him???

Lauren

Anne + the cat was right! Sooo happy!

So, he just left my house. :)

You know when you want something to happen in a certain way but, in the end, it never does? Well, it did!

He called me telling he would be in the neighborhood and if he could stop bye... I know, I know, the strategic response would be a nicely said "no". But I got so nervous I couldn't think about any excuse, so I just said yes - following the "enjoy it" advice.

Well I'm glad I chose yes over no. He was adorable, we had an amazing time. I'm not kidding, I don't know what happened, but something changed. He paid me so many complements and so much attention. I cooked him dinner. We watched TV together.

Anyway, I would be very surprised if he doesn't contact me. There is no way I was the only one feeling it, is it? Can I be very very happy?!

I know what you might be thinking... he is just using me and blablabla... but can we be a little bit more positive here? I will try that approach.

The last hope is alive!

Bisous
Anne

Anne + cat's advice

After obsessing about my last Danish episode, I reached some conclusions:
1) I can't (or don't really want to) forget him;
2) Even if he liked me and decided to date me, he won't marry me (I'm still not Danish).

So, in view of the above, the only thing I can do is enjoy. Have fun. Enjoy when we get together and try not to be sad with things that actually should make me happy.

Instead of being sad because he doesn't love me, be happy that I had an amazing time with a hot guy that I emotionally connect to.

Of course we all know that it's easier said than done, but I really don't believe, at least by now, that there is any other alternative. I've tried to forget. I've tried "getting him back" strategies. I need to stop thinking of me as this old lady that needs to get married in the next couple of years or I'll be damned forever.

Why do I call it a waste of time when it could just be having fun time? I used to be good at that (ahhh, the early 20's).

Anyway, I'm aware that this will just work as long as he keeps on being nice, respectful and responsive to me. And it's also a learning curve.

Yesterday I sent him a text wishing held og lykke (good luck) for the marathon today. For the time before getting his answer, I was getting sad. That can't happen. I need to focus on being pacient - why do I need to see him today again? I can wait for next week or the following one, I will probably live here for a long time, so what is the rush? - and not getting sad with any negative situations, but just be happy when the positive stuff come up.

Sophia and Lauren told me I put him in a pedestal and think he is so much better than I am - as good friends, they of course disagree :) - but I don't really think he is better than me. I think he is perfect for me, mainly because he is better than the others and I do deserve the best.

Of course I'd love him to text me today and ask me for a relaxing post-marathon night... or even let me know how did it go. I don't think that will happen, but, as an old friend used to say, "the last hope is the one that dies" (no, that's not my bad english, she always confused the sense of this saying and, to be honest, I think it's much better this way).

Next step: sit still until (and if) he sends me something in the next couple of days and, if not (I know, probable) call him Wednesday to meet him up after drinks with my friends (Thusrday is a holliday, so in my dream world we will get to spend it in bed).

I know what you are thinking: who am I kidding, right? Just forget about this guy and move on with my life. Well, I've tried to. So now I'm just going to follow the cat's advice (from Alice in the wonderland): "if you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there".

Enjoy your Sunday.

Bisous, Anne